“But what about...”

No.

We white people are so oppressed by our minority overlords.

way more offended that you think he is a stormtrooper

I remember how white people were legally regarded as 2nd class citizens thanks to the oppressive “White Chicks” laws throughout the country in the 2000’s. Horrible times.

Did you read this article? I mean, really read and comprehend it?

White chicks was offensive to everyone.

This is one of those things where you need to ask yourself “is this worth the fight?” First, is it really that important to you to wear black makeup? You can’t come up with any other costume idea that is just as clever? Second, you don’t get to decide whether somebody should be offended or not, if somebody is offended…

Can I introduce you to the concept of “satire”?

It can be difficult at first, but it’s worth learning about it.

How to talk to white people about blackface:

Blackface performances started in the 1820's. Jim Crow was a character that was developed later by some white asshole to perform as.

These are not black face equivalents. The article did a pretty good job of laying out the history of black face. Please read it.

Bars and nightclubs. There have been many times I’ve gone out with friends only to have them turned away at the door because they wore a fitted baseball cap, a white T-shirt (regardless of length), or anything that either isn’t business casual or is something that black people have worn in the past 10 years.

You must've not seen the movie...

Temple of Doom as a film is racially insensitive to many Asians and the Short Round character itself is a stereotype, so I’d advise against it.

Who the hell would get quiche to go?

As long as he tells everyone “You call him Dr. Jones!”, then you’re fine. Bonus points if he yells “Cover your heart Indy!” at random times.

“I’m not racist. Some of my best friends are Black...for Halloween.”

Only allowed when impersonating Danny Glover’s character in Lethal Weapon 5 and 6.

The more I read your writing, the more I feel that you may be a National Treasure.