In all fairness, they stopped producing Bills apparel in ‘94, so they are pretty limited on what to wear.

What could be worse than his pasty white ass hanging out like a 3 year old?

Never wanted a kid before this.

I think the Spank-oln Memorial needs more clarification. Is it just a list of the women’s names? Are there pictures? If so, does it mention how old I was at the time? If you saw girls of middle school age it would have to point out that you were also in those classes and of the appropriate age, right? Even then,…

Christ, mine would have to be as large as the Vietnam Memorial. Kids would go down the line trying to find their mother’s name before scraping an imprint with a crayon onto a piece of paper.

This is a beautiful example of analytic thinking arriving at nonobvious solutions from general assumptions. You can be on my project team anytime.

Here’s the thing about the wall. Let’s say that you go at it maybe 3 times a week on average. Each time, you’re cruising some site and probably see at least 2 or 3 ladies in some state of undress that are going through your mind. Let’s say you’re 30 years old, so we’ll say at a minimum you’ve been doing this for 12…

I would take the website/memorial wall. For all the “you fapped to me/my wife/my sister” awkwardness, I would say “just read the rest of the list,” and they would realize that I’ve fapped to pretty much everyone. At some point, it would be an insult to not be included.

Us IT guys already know how disgusting you are. We open your computers to see the dust and smell your perfume/cologne from the last 5 years. We replace the keyboards/mouses that have your disgusting hands touching them all day. We wash our hands like we’re goddamn OCD.

He sure could pass up five million dollars and then suffer the exact same injury in training camp that he passed up five million dollars to avoid getting in the first place.

Here’s footage of professional golfers driving balls on a runway. The longest is 900 yards. Pretty far short of a mile.

As a fat dude, people (friends, included) always fart around me in public knowing I’ll get the stink-eye. It makes the cramps from my politely held-in public farts that much more of a punch in the gut.

What if you don’t know the woman’s name? You just found her video and did the deed. Does the board magically figure it out? Easy way to look up names.

I told my friend that if I were to take my driver onto a long stretch of straight and flat highway, I could drive the golf ball a mile, including bounce and roll. He thought I was crazy. What do you think? Is this a possible feat?

You got yours already? My “Knock Breast Cancer out in a Casino Elevator and Drag it Away” shirt is on back-order.

No part of me was surprised by this, and I don’t think any part of what I wrote reflected shock, but I can still think it’s an incredibly dumb decision.

I can be shocked about it for the exact same reasons you talk about. It’s 2015. The NFL and every other company has to realize that things like this will get out, blogs will post it, people will tweet about it, people will be upset about it, and it will make them look bad.

Williams: “Yes, I requested this last year as well when I played in Carolina. Remember, I dyed my dreads pink?”

Obviously, the design needs some work, but I think it’s a powerful message the NFL can rally behind.

You know because anyone being out of uniform in the NFL will cause total anarchy and next thing you know dogs and cats are living together. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?