There’s a drink called an Ovechkin.

No, because he has a boyfriend and prefers sex with men.

Good to see a professional beard like Olivia Munn is earning that monthly stipend!

Whatever, he’ll get a new job in 5 minutes.

There is no joy in R’lyeh,
Cthulhu, mighty Cthulhu has returned.

All I want is to be there when something monumental happens to mankind. It’s all I ask. ALIENS! COME KILL US AND GIVE MY LIFE MEANING!

That’s horrifically poetic. It’s like the jerk in the video above: hating bikes because they’re more free than he’s probably ever been.

Domestic Terrorists: They Hate Us For Our Freedom

Our political overlords: just like us!

Yeah, next you’ll have us believing this country could elect a Black probable-atheist from Chicago whose middle name is Hussein and never played ball, acted in movies, or sang professionally and whose only jobs have been “community organizer” and ConLaw professor.

Don’t forget: Leitch also has shitty taste in movies.

Big problem with Shallow Grave: why did they have to hide the body? Makes no sense. Just take the money. Hiding the body was done so there could be a movie. It’s bad writing.

Shouldn’t that Caption be for the Notre Dame game?

the best part is how those gladiators are trained:

entire towns gleefully watching teenagers smash into each other. Child Abuse glorified as Friday Night Lights.

Better still to act like the bigger person and simply ignore it and burn her house down.

Sure, take advice about the NFL from Jim Mora and his 32-34 pro record.

Please do next:

1. Richard Stark (not that lame Don Westlake)
2. The brutally real Jim Thompson

Which sport will replace football? I’m guessing lacrosse.
1. Outdoors.
2. Team sport.
3. Violent, but fewer brain injuries.
4. Fast, maybe too fast.
5. Played mostly by wealthy schools, as football was when it started.
6. Played by hyped-up douchenozzles.

If it’s unsatisfying, overrated, incoherently plotted with weak character development, yet still gets attention and money, then it’s definitely been directed by Shelton “Spike” Lee.

Don’t worry, Grampa, they don’t even THINK about you.

Why are all sports “journalists”/broadcasters/opinionators such insufferable wet farts? They all compete for who can be the biggest Jock Sniffer, and Bill Simmons sniffs so much jock, he’s earned his own cup.