Hold-My-Dirk, thank you for explaining to Rickey what Rickey should have known a long-ass time ago.

Arguments about thinning the talent pool do not apply to soccer. At all.

Assuming that soccer’s rise in popularity in the United States is solely because of Hispanic population growth is as obfuscatory as presuming it is all because of those “lily-white American soccer pom-pom people”... you’re just as guilty of skewing reality as those you deign to denigrate.

Ohhh, “Chinatown for Mexicans,” and here I thought Mexicantown was something else. I get it now!

Am not going to watch a league who calls itself MLS yet fields teams with FC in the name. Fuck right off, sirs.

I don’t know if this is just a weird coincidence, but in school I was taught that the Patrick Division is what separated Northern Ireland from the rest of the island.

Bring back the Patrick Division. And the Adams, Norris and Smythe. Also the Campbell and Prince of Wales conferences.

The girlfriend isn’t named?

Only if he was good. He’s not.

Damn, Westbrook is one thirsty dude. Congrats on your nomination for Turbo-Douche 2016..

Since black people are known for being so respectful.

Hurr durr, CV has alopecia, hurr durr.

Remember when this guy threw a shitfit about Reggie Jackson celebrating, like two weeks ago?

I’m here for it. They got in his head early, which isn’t exactly surprising because it’s Westbrook, but we need every angle we can get.

Something tells me it’s that sort of obsessive–if not doltish–level of dedication that took him from being a walk-on to the best defensive player in football.

J.J. Watt is a jerk-off fantasy for the alpha-aping dorks in the Make America Great Again crowd.

JJ Watt didn’t skip leg day on 9/11.

Is this a list of my “sleeper RB” picks for the last decade in fantasy?

Mewelde Moore

Amos Zereoue.