I believe the proper nomenclature is "poop tooth"

When did Sting move to Brooklyn?

Yeah, I walked into that didn't I.

Is it just me or does John Salley's wife not fit the definition of very attractive? It looks like someone photoshopped Uwe's face onto Halle Berry.

Can we rename this Bleacher Report Fiction Corner?

That was a boob? I thought she was standing behind a churrasco tray.

No, my pranks are usually reserved to the standard bar shenanigans, although I am always looking for more ideas.

For years I have been going into the auto correct settings in Microsoft Word and making it so that when you type a word it auto corrects it to something else. Usually it is for commonly misspelled words, but I like to make it change "same" to "shitcunt" or something along those lines. I find it hilarious.

I thought the Simona Halep model spit in the face of God and reduced their glory?

Did you ever see the episodes of "Rescue Me" where Franco was dating a girl who's brother was retarded? Kind of reminded me of that guy, except he was pretty smart and didn't shout out the n-word during Final Jeopardy.

Yeah, I would get down with that. She's probably a freak.

Off like Mackenzie Phillip's underwear at a family reunion?

You as well big boy. Most of my Deadspin nonsense was done via phone since it's blocked at work. The new site and my phone get along like Uwe and Megan's Law, so I am limited.

What sort of estrogen fueled channel is "The Talk" on? This looks awful, how many talentless actress who are to old to revive their careers by posing nude in Playboy can their be on one show?

Yeah, it's been shakier than Michael J. Fox in a bounce house today.

+1 and FYI evil chuckles are best done when not surrounded by coworkers.

+1 So good.

A diamond ring and new tattoo for each of them. Nevermind the man hiding behind the curtain, I am the all powerful Kobe!!

Oh no, I played golf today too. San Clemente Muni. Soaked for a while then nice, then hail, then hot, then hail. And instead of heading up to Del Mar, thunder, lightning, and more hail forced me to drink my parents booze.

As long as this is a great rant and not a prelude to a bunch of cousin fucking hookup failure stories, procede. Otherwise, Jalopnik.