I think an argument can be made for ‘underlying cultural assumption” being what “forces” people to think a certain way.

Why not compare them? There are many reasons that can lead a person to feel trapped and do something that they know is wrong. Of course I’m not saying that all these cases are sympathetic, and I’m not really focused on Ashley Madison, I’m talking about why people cheat in the first place—the method and medium is…

It seems to be common sense. I am not made of stone—if my husband came to me and said “I’m not attracted to you any more, but I want to still live together and co-parent,” I would be sad. But then I would know, and I would be able to make an informed decision about what happens next, what is best for our child, etc. I…

If your partner has a long-term debilitating illness that means all sexual activity is heretofore off the table, which is the better option: the healthy person foregoing sex ever again whilst taking care of their partner, leaving their partner entirely for someone else, or discreetly getting their needs tended to…

I am willing to bet that a decent number of Ashley Madison account holders never act on it. Probably the thing I miss most now that I am a boring monogamous person is that initial flirtation and meeting with someone new. How exciting it was to get to know a new person, right before you discovered what an unbearable…

My point was how pervasive it is and I completely agree with being accountable.I have said repeatedly in this thread that I am hoping people use this as a way to start an open honest dialog with their partners.

Her point is that just because a doctor is tall, it doesn’t mean all doctors are tall. I don’t really view what you said as you trying to assert a logical conclusion and I believe that’s the disconnect. I took it to mean you were saying that with the significant number of people on that site, there are probably a lot…

Let’s try to clear this up even if the end result is we agree to disagree. I do not care if I am right or wrong, I am not trying to die on a hill for a quick comment I made and to which you seem to have taken great personal offense.

This is the post in question
“Plenty of people are very happy in monogamous…

JFC you’re full of yourself. I can’t speak to what someone else said but you seem fine doing so. I am going to copypasta so there is no confusion,

It’s too bad that open marriages aren’t more accepted. Why people care what anyone else thinks of their marriage is silly. If people spent less time worrying about what other people are doing, this would be a much better world. It isn’t your relationship.

i think the assumption that everyone that signed up on that site cheated is wrong i think you made some assumptions. sometimes people say what they mean but i have no dog in this fight you can both feel like youre right

I have ONLY dismissed you and upthread I said I did.
So if you’re responding to what I actually said, please show me where I said everyone or where I mentioned anything about cheating.

I said it was a waste of our time to continue since you kept saying I was saying things I didn’t. I never said everyone and I never even mentioned cheating. Both of your responses to me, were filled with things I didn’t say. I only wrote a few sentences and I didn’t use big words. If you want to discuss the actual…

It would be so great if people could just be honest. I’ve been with the same man for 14 years, we’ve been married 2. We have been monogamous and we have opened things up, we have an honest open dialog about what we want and need at any given time. Our friends don’t understand because it’s not exactly socially…

I ended up dismissing someone who kept saying I was saying things, I wasn’t. There are a number of people doing that in this thread.

That’s how I read the post as well, which is why I said I was hoping this situation would open a larger dialog. But man people are defensive. I don’t see gloriaestefanwasright advocating for people to cheat or excusing their behavior.

That is really disingenuous. Just as there is unwritten pressure to be Christian, love football and other things that are “all American” there is certainly unwritten pressure to be in a committed relationship with ONE person. Polygamy is outlawed and frown upon (for some valid reasons, I might add), polyamory is seen…

I think that’s what she’s saying though. If people realized they didn’t have to be monogamous and find people with whom they could be in open or poly relationships with, they would be happier and it would lead to less betrayal because folks were being true to themselves and honest with others. Monogamy isn’t a bad…

I agree with almost everything you said...with an addendum to the “open marriages are becoming more accepted” part. While non-monogamy is more accepted than it was years ago, it is still not presented as a reasonable option in our culture. Most people don’t make an active choice between monogamy and non-monogamy -…

“Plenty of people are very happy in monogamous relationships”, I think with only 3 zip codes in the entire US not having someone registered, there are lots of people who claim to be happy in monogamous relationships.