My thoughts exactly. I mean, I’d be fine with being drugged and raped by one of America’s great father figures as long as I was assured that he would go blind 30 years later after having lived a rich, fulfilling, and very successful life.

“Their marriage will not just cement Matthews into the wider family circle that William and Kate have established, it will also link them to the celebrity world inhabited by James’s brother Spencer, the coke-snorting louche lothario of reality TV show Made In Chelsea.” Oh, boy.

So it’s actually rape that makes you go blind, not masturbation.

This saddens me. Now there is literally no way he’ll see the inside of a jail cell.

Well that un-rapes dozens of women.

Even if she did sue, it would still be a Kardashian win. A lawsuit like that could be a whole season’s worth of episodes, if not an entirely new show.

Women! We can have horrible opinions just like Men! Yay.... ;(

Only Nicola can save us now.

We’re f*****.

They are alpacas, but also, alpacas are objectively much cuter and nicer than llamas, so....

“Look Lula. Once upon a time, Mommy did a bad thing but for a very good reason. Grandpappy FlappyLips needed a #1. Somehow the people in the world overlooked years of legitimate, amazing songs and never gave him and his friends a #1 song. Some Mommy had to make a bad movie so that Diane Warren would give one of the…

I think he was just poking fun at the 140 character limit on Twitter, which makes difficult to finish a full, deep thought on a serious matter...

I think he might've been joking?

Whats the quote I’m about to get slightly wrong?

Don’t you know “Erin” means “Africa” in Gaelic?

Her name might as well be Becky Smith.

I always think Murdoch is scum, but this week both the Sun and the Times (which is meant to be respectable) published up skirt photos of Malia Obama, then 17, after her skirt blew up when they disembarked in Turkey. It was appalling.

Someone on the main page is criticizing her for attending and I'm thinking you'd be crazy not to go just for this reason. So much fun to be had! And you get the inside dirt. And there must be alcohol. When I was working I got invites to political parties for people I reeeeeally didn't agree with. I always went. You…