I don’t think he’s their buddy, guy.

What the fuck was Clifford Gordon supposed to do? HELP A CHILD? Who has time for that bullshit?!?!?!?!?!

If conservative beliefs would stop being so fucking stupid and bigoted, it wouldn’t be as much of a problem.

I really don’t know how to deal with people for whom the “I’m going to watch incredible athletes do incredible things” part of pro sports takes a clear backseat to the “I see sports as a venue for the performance of moral [and masculine] virtue as I choose to define it” part of pro sports.

Rhubarb red, eat away!
Rhubarb green, don’t eat them!

This is a professional league where the goal is to put together the best team possible in order to win titles. Why are we insisting that guys go out and handicap themselves with a bunch of average teammates in order to overcome it? Its cheating if you go play with good players? What the fuck nonsense is this? You’re…

I spent the last few weeks thinking of a tree that we used to have in the backyard of our old house. All those hours I spent under that tree looking up as the sunlight dripped like honey through the leaves. When the thin cold wire of time wasn’t pressing pushing tight against my neck. There was time back then. There’s…

So what you are telling me is that you are an actual fan of the team, not a fan of the fans, making you, therefore, one of the best fans in baseball.

Oh come on, “ham blanket”? That’s ridiculous. It’s a Ham Snuggie™.

Can Mike Tyson even vote?

I, for one, am eagerly anticipating All Takes Matter going to Cleveland for a live pregame show.

WADA mess.

fielders shifted to left field when he batted

As a boy alone on the practice field he heard the ghostly whisper

Pictured: the author.

He took NINETY-SEVEN FUCKING FREE THROWS in 6 games. Those numbers make James Harden blush.

At what point is it not OK to have a roommate? My friend is 35, has a respectable income and a fairly reasonable mortgage with no bills besides utilities and student loans, yet his brother and another friend live with him. I say it’s ridiculous (and his previous girlfriend agrees with me since she just broke up with…

I think some time should also be spent talking about how good these Rangers are. They've won 9 straight series, they've got a ROY candidate in Mazara, Desmond has been playing out of his mind, our best 1B is Profar who's currently being used as a four position utility infielder, and Colby Lewis is 37 years young and…