A surprisingly hard game: Who said it, Billy Haisley or Ayn Rand?

God, if you’re really there, please find Billy Haisley an editor who can shorten every one of his articles by 1000 words.

I think someone’s Sega Genesis controller got disconnected.

Mejia: But I was set up, man!

I just drink without partying. Ignoring the whole “maybe you’ve got a problem” crowd is the only issue.

Don’t be the “Why aren’t you drinking?” guy at the bar who won’t let it go. There’s always one and he’s an asshole. Sample quotes:

They don’t have any more money. And we all know who took it.

KIT SYMONS: We’re going to try to catfish the players.

Can’t stop watching this for some reason.

Shots fired.

Shots fired.

In the grand scheme of things, Leicester are still relative minnows in the Premier League. No wonder Arsenal lost to Swansea, they’re wales.

Johnson avoided conviction on the oral sex charge but the jury decided he was in fact guilty of finger penetration.

Using your hands in the box will get a penalty every time.

[requests trade to Mets]

Who is his fucking financial advisor, MC Hammer?

It’s really more a sea of “Americans don’t learn very much history.”

He’s buying luxury pigs now, too? You know, if the Wilpon family were smart, they would’ve paid this young man a weekly allowance. Some might call it ‘paternalism,’ but look at Bobby Bonilla. He was a hot shot superstar once upon a time and he’s never been better. You don’t see him schilling for PokerStars.net! Teach…

I don’t want to ruin this for anyone, but animals win prizes based on the quality of their meat. That’s the reason why you have the awards.

I am willing to convict based on that mustache.