Meh, I’d rather play the game:

Wow I didn’t know it was possible to be a hipster at 8.

That might be the best RKO out of nowhere I’ve never seen.

Missed opportunity to play it off like a boss:

I’ll add that it’s some next level hypocrisy that a far left media organization has a commenting system that allows dissenting comments to be silenced without any appeal process or accountability. But I guess that’s the world we live in.

Oh, he’s aware

LOL, he noticed:

It’s as if Daft Punk fucked the Village People

Every 90's kid with a good childhood reading this article like:

Optics is also a corporate term for appearance the way you’re using it.

Meanwhile, at the premiere:

Maybe Hawkeye will start appearing in Star Wars posters.

I do get a kick out of these. I’m waiting for a casting call for someone named “Lumpy” at this point.

As someone who has been locked up, I’m a big advocate for prison reform and humane prison treatment.

Not a good time to lose one’s head.

He’ll never be the head of a major corporation, you mean?

“In thick patois — I won’t do the voice. Well, I’ll do the voice a little...”

This is how John Mulaney turns a pretty funny joke to begin with into a great joke.

Ingredient list for 365 (Whole Food brand) Mayonnaise literally copied directly from their website:

Mayo has eggs in it. It is literally eggs and oil mixed together and not much else.