Calamari Mata Hari might be my favorite line uttered on this show ever. Talbot is the best.

I guess she shouldn’t have used Lawyer.com.

Slightly unrelated: Fellow Grammar Police, I ask you: “shaked his genitals”? Not, ‘shook his genitals’?

If the Belle tolls more than twice, it’s considered playing with yourself.

Solar storms? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within their server room? 

That officer’s name is Marine Todd.

Stuck up Riverdale PUNKS!

Because he’s a good director and The Last Jedi was fucking awesome.

Oh no! Where are we going to find a contemporary movie that panders to our nostalgia for Star Wars?

Relax, friend. Here...calm down with this delicious Hormel Black Label Bacon.

That’s fine! Just do not touch Willie.

Ah, and just in time for our lousy Smarch weather.

I’ve never actually cared enough about cosmetics to spend real money on them, but it’s so crazy to me that apparently companies can make more revenue off slot machines than they would if they just sold things piecemeal in a store. It really is predatory, appealing to the secret (or not-so-secret) gambling addiction…

I’d like to see more devs go the Payday 2 route (minus the power creep/NEEDING some expansions). Every month or two, drop one map, a few cosmetics, a few new guns, for like $7. I would pay $7 every month for that amount of content.

McDonald’s should ban him from all their restaurants. He would then have no choice but to steal Big Macs, thus becoming the real life Hamburglar.

Why are metal dudes always like “this band is as old as the trees, how dare there be newer music than this”?

David Byrne - 43 years
Chris Carter - 43 years
Guided By Voices - 35 years
Yo La Tengo - 34 years
MF Doom - 30 years
The Breeders - 29 years
Of Montreal - 22 years
Jean Grae - 22 years
Jack White - 21 years
Hot Snakes - 19 years
Andrew WK - 17 years
The Decemberists - 17 years
Editors - 16 years
Curren$y - 16 years
Mount Eerie - 15…

Surprised he didn’t mention that Maggie shot a guy before she learned to walk or talk.