we’re an aging behemoth with outdated infrastructure and horribly corrupt corporate and government bureaucracies that are terminally immune to change

Click bait title basically.

The title of this had nothing to do with why “not to move in with your significant other”, rather was just you talking about moving into your own place. Congrats for getting a place, and being a planner and all, and well done putting yourself out there, but the title is very misleading and other than a 2 sentence,…

The headline is a bit misleading. You should definitely experience living on your own in between living with roommates and living with a significant other.

Can we just talk about how disgusting the act of wearing scrubs in public is?

It’s not that you never want to die, just not right now.

For me, mediocrity is a bit bitter because I was expected to be a high achiever. I was really good at taking tests in high school, and went to a high achieving college.

The key for me was picking an industry in which being able to dress yourself and show up every day puts you a solid couple rungs up the ladder. I’m an upper level executive in my organization and I’m doing this right now. But people look at me like I’m doing Dog’s work or some shit.

I worked my ass off at shitty office jobs for ten years to make ends meet and no one cared. I’ve now been on a six month unemployment fueled constant bender and my family is considering an intervention. When I go back to half-assing some stupid wage-slave job they are going to act like I climbed Mount Everest.

I just started a new job in an unfamiliar field at a massive organization. My mediocrity is on full display for everyone right now. It’s not as much “freeing” as it is “crippling anxiety inducing”.

I hate getting in conversations about high school, not because I had any drama, and I wasn’t picked on — but people ask things like “Oh well there was the one time I joined our school gymnastics team and won a silver medal” and I have to be there like “I didn’t do anything in high school, was I supposed to?”

Before anyone ever asks a hypothetical question about man v. gorilla melee combat they should be legally bound to watch this video first.

Parental superpower: Being so disgusted by the behavior of your spawn that a certain level of behavior, generally anything below someone being actively maimed, is tuned out in a desperate attempt to feign living a normal life.

The airline baggage claim is the apotheosis of human idiocy: everybody benefits if you stand back (lots of space, people can just approach when they see their bag and move on), everybody loses when people start pushing forward (can’t get your bag, get pissed off at people, get competitive, people swinging bags into…

My favorite is people who aren't strong enough to lift their own overhead bag. Pack less or gate check it, no one wants to get hit with your stupid luggage (allowances for the elderly and/or infirm, obviously) as you flail around trying to wrestle it over your head.

I used to be a cashier at Publix and because of my speed/friendliness, my manager LOVED to put me on the Express checkout (15 items or fewer).

My response when I am in uniform is “if you want to complain about where your tax dollars go, complain to me.”

This one time this lady in front of me in the “12 Items or Fewer” lane (don’t even get me started on stores that say “12 Items or Less,” those fucking wretches) had way more than 12 things. And not like 15 or 16 where you could reasonably be like “Whoops, I didn’t realize how much I had...sorry!” She had more than…

I don’t know what you’re talking about.

All this brings up something that I’ve never been able to fucking understand. You ever met someone who has absolutely NO problem jumping into an ocean filled with jellyfish and sharks and sting rays and all kinds of things that will hurt/maim/kill you at a moment’s notice, but flat-out REFUSE to jump into a lake…