In high school I knew some dudes who had these parties. They were weird, obviously. Their goal was to drink a ton and eat terrible food that was guaranteed to give you diarrhea. Then they’d set challenges like, once everyone had a rumbly stomach they all had to jump on the trampoline for 20 minutes. Whoever didn’t…

I feel so fancy! I’m not a rich guy by any means but I do use my middle name. It started as a nickname because my first name just doesn’t suit me and then caught on. Now I know it’s some official business when someone calls looking for me and asks for my first name. No one else ever calls me that.

My coworker has tweens who are getting to the age where they shouldn’t be trusted alone with internet access so her solution was to make wifi available only in the family room. She also wanted some additional “bait” to get the kids to hang out there with their friends (where she can keep an ear open from the next…

If I buy the pre-shelled seeds I eat the whole bag in, like, 2 minutes. Just funnel them in and oops! they’re gone.

There are groups like Museum Hack that offer tours (either a group tour or you download the maps yourself) that have a theme around them. It’s a nice way to keep museums ‘fresh’ and interesting and also saves you time from slogging through 85,000 Jesus paintings. Some of the tour themes might be specific animals or…

I worked with a lady who wouldn’t eat a sandwich. She said that the feeling of her teeth going through the bread before reaching the meat of the sandwich made her nauseous. So if we ever had a lunch meeting where they had catered sandwiches, she’d eat the meat first and then the bread. I always wondered if she had…

You forgot the most important part: have an exit strategy.

I had no idea about the money to be made in crossfit! My friend started a local program because she’s way into it (military gal who loved boot camp) and although her program was cheap (she was basically just looking for friends to work out with and didn’t want to pay someone else’s fees) when she got deployed and had…

I feel like a lot of modern day sports pros lose their “real personhood” when they get those big money contracts. Yes, Larry Bird made a lot of money but it’s not like it is today where players make INSANE amounts of money. If you average his career salary, he was taking home about $2 million a year whereas just a few…

I had a VW Karmann Ghia and boy did I learn a lot about roadside repairs! Sweet baby jeebus that thing broke down constantly - until it caught on fire, anyway! I miss the AAA of yore; we used to pay for the spendy membership that had unlimited tows and they’d tow you up to 50 miles or something. Without that, I would…

If you have a cell phone, call 911. This is considered an emergency situation. If you’re on a busy highway/freeway, a patrol car can come and slow traffic to help you get to the shoulder. From there, they probably won’t do much other than to tell you to call a tow truck. In Los Angeles, there is so much traffic that…

Hospitals are pretty stingy nowadays and not everyone qualifies for provided scrubs. Most are brought from home. I’ve seen them for sale at Walmart for pretty cheap, about $5 per piece. So knock yourselves out, folks! Looney Tunes scrubs for everyone!

Regardless of how far away things are from the actual toilet, mist and “particulates” travel all over every surface. The ceiling has just as many pee molecules and e.coli bacteria as anyplace else. Best not to take anything into the restroom that you’ll be putting your mouth on.

HALLELUJAH! I think this all the time. Even though I’ve noticed that a lot of medical facilities has their whole staff wearing scrubs now, which makes it confusing for patients (“oh, I’m not a nurse. I just answer the phone.”) and leads to more confusion out in public. Even if I was just the receptionist, I can…

Exactly! You know just who these festivals are catering to when there are tiers to the ticket prices. One includes special access to additional bars (no free drinks, just shorter lines) and one includes access to additional toilets. I saw one recently, I think in Denver? where Tier 2 was access to additional porta…

All of these longevity discussions always side with quantity over quality. Yes, you can probably live to be 150 but most people wouldn’t want to. My 94 year old aunt lives alone and is in relatively good health but her knees are failing (due daily use for 94 years) and she’d prefer to exit stage left before she’s left…

No joke! Not to rain on someone’s parade but there’s someone in my immediate family who ran afoul of the law and got heavy into very heavy drugs and basically blasted their life into a crater. After returning from prison they were given a hero’s welcome (money, cars, even a partnership share in the family business)…

I worked with a lady who was originally from China and she was pretty relaxed about farting and burping. Especially burping (culturally, it can be seen as a compliment about delicious food). Other people giggled when she did it and she, obviously, didn’t make a spectacle of herself (she didn’t do it in meetings or…

Our neighborhood has an unusually high number of “urban coyotes” due to the destruction of their homes (for more high density housing!) and because they’re used to being around people and cars, they aren’t phased by them in the slightest. Honking your horn or yelling at a coyote doesn’t get them to back down at all. A…

FREE IDEAS FOR YOU, BIG FLOSS: 1) create dispensers for public restrooms. Similar to communal soap or paper towel dispensers, but for dental floss! Imagine the profits as every movie theater in America installs your new contraption! 2) Distribute little packets with a small amount of floss inside (I’m thinking like a…