This reminded me of a great Dave Barry line about the Teapot Dome scandal - “At this point Harding, showing the kind of class Richard Nixon could only dream about, died.”

Well when I overthrow your weak government and take over the world, I will make it so that anytime someone says “Oh I remember that song from ____ commercial!” or starts singing along with an ad, they get pushed into a meat grinder. We will then vacuum pack and sell the ground idiots and sell them back to the people. …

OH GREAT, another berth. Just what the Rivers household needs!

I have no idea.

Its a symbiotic relationship, when it inevitably catches fire the head gaskets will blow and it will self-extinguish using coolant.

Attach Booger to a giant harness with the Sky Cam and have him fly around the top of the stadium, shrieking his insights about what the Mike did on that last pass protection, as he soars 20 feet off the ground around the field at a blinding velocity.

Do yourself a favor and open a new tab and start playing Yakety Sax and then come back and view the gifs above. I would have sworn I was already hearing it anyway, but it’s worth the effort.

And let’s not forget how bad the attendance numbers look once you account for the fact that Philip Rivers’ family is responsible for filling half of the seats.

Easy. Just designate all the not ready planes as parts planes. The sooner you admit your project car isn't going to be finished, the sooner you can get rid of it on Craigslist and move on. No time wasters, I know what I've got.

Science rocks.

He was between the tackles, though, so they’ll start calling Donald for intentional grounding.

Oh man that look when his dead eyes get live with panic is just...delicious. I could snack on that all day.

He was only down there for a few seconds, but his recording device recorded 18 hours of static.

They’re on top of the world and are in control of the whole game, but can’t stop playing the victim card and whining like pathetic losers about how much everyone is out to get them. It’s not only annoying, it’s completely counterproductive, as they’re going to wake up soon on the bottom of the world, with no one to…

The hell I don’t! Listen, kid. I’ve been hearing that crap ever since I was at UCLA. I’m out there busting my buns. Every. Night. Tell your old man to drag Walton and Lanier up and down the court for 48 minutes.

YES! My husband understands the tweezers hierarchy as:
1. The GOOD tweezers. MY tweezers. They were hand milled in England and were designed to put together dollhouse miniatures. I won’t even tell him where they are.
2. The back-up good tweezers that have been lost for 6 months but I still hold out hope they can be…

The Belichick coaching tree sprouts another withered, lifeless branch.

Shouldn’t have had the fish...

isn’t this how the zombie apocalypse starts? :D

A. Neat, I learned something today.