The game of Lava, Mustang, Crowds is a lot like Rock, Paper, Scissors.

Man, Carol Channing looks really good for 97!

An appropriate homage to former Eagles coach Buddy Ryan’s 4'6" defense.

I know it’s been played out forever but crying Jordan still gets me

Richardson was apparently very disappointed to learn he had to sell the whole team rather than each player individually.

“I always say, if you think you can just drop any old ex-player in a TV studio and expect great things, you’re a shippleblubbynyudnu”

He’s dead, like all of our souls. Shove a half pound of roast beef into the void where your soul’s corpse rots to keep it company. Eat Arby’s.

That lead GIF is now the featured exhibit at the Blue Balls Hall of Fame.

Can we just move on from this and get to more pressing matters? Such as, what will Trump do if the family members of the turkey he pardons this week don’t pay him enough respect afterwards?

Counter-proposal: Keep all golf courses active but also populate them with wolves.

Grey and Blue knows how to throw a punch. Orange guy does some weird downward chop like he’s a silver screen damsel-in-distress fighting off the evil Count Rupert. Green Shirt throws haymakers and White shirt only knows how to wrestle and not very well. I think you’ve gotta score Notre Dame for the win on this one,…

Dodge Demon people: “But can it pull the front wheels off the ground?!”

- The National Anthem before NFL games

Regardless of what happened afterwards, by displaying tongue technique like that Puig is unlikely to ever be stranded at third again.

So, there’s this guy who walks in a bar, gets a beer, starts chatting with the bartender, tells him his mother-in-law is a nagging hag who is driving him and his wife nuts, and at some point the bartender interjects:

First you complain that I don’t have a good relationship with you mother. Then you complain that I do. What the hell do you want from me?

I have a jar of hot sauce that is like 6,000,000 su. For reference, a jalepeno is about 5000. I had a buddy who bragged he could eat anything hot. So I coated a wing with just a wee little bit of it.

Whew!