Nice of him to stretch the anguish out for the entire offseason. Now the 49ers can focus on the future like stealing soccer fields from 11 year olds.

I love when players talk about all the “prep” that goes on before or after games, yeah it’s called a 50 plus hour work week welcome to the real world.

I really respect Monroe for admitting he was done.

It was at that moment that a light clicked in Newman’s mind, like the universe at the moment of the Big Bang. The ball had jarred something loose inside him, shaking the cobwebs from his brain. He saw the world clearly for the first time; its beauty, its sorrow, its raw and untamed nature. Geometric formulas raced…

I am glad somebody remembers these guys, because god knows they won’t be able to do it them selves

My guess is they were going to intentionally walk to batter to set up a force at every base with 2 outs. They wanted to position an extra fielder behind the catcher in case of a very poor intentional ball?

They’re still gonna win the AFC East again this year, goddammit.

Does this mean I’m not getting Part II of the Summer Movie Preview? Harumph!

I will care about this story when it’s revealed that Tom secretly switched the balls out for those Nerf vortex footballs that John Elway used to chuck at kids in the 90’s

It worked for Delonte West tho...

It was a regulation football that may have been slightly deflated below an arbitrary level. Fuck off.

I’d feel bad for Noah, because Jones seems committed to kicking his ass. However, he can easily hide from Cardale by taking refuge in one of Ohio State’s many academic buildings.

Nope.

Well, the cast has spoiled SNL for the past 15 years, so there is that.

Man, I am so excited to not watch this fight.

Really? MC Fructose seems worse. Far worse...

4-6 months? He should be back for the ECF.

So, honest question: will you actually come back and admit that you got two black people mixed up and casually suggested that an innocent person committed domestic violence because you were SO MAD that Deadspin isn’t ignoring Mayweather’s shittiness, or will you just seethe and hope no one notices?

I guess you believe there are never two sides to any story, huh.