Don’t forget, young, healthy people need to drink shit water to build up their immunity to diseases you get from drinking shit water. You won't hear that from Dr. Fauci, though! 

I went to my 10 year reunion, got drunk, etc. Realized the people who were cool in high school were still cool, but that now they had money too. Reaffirmed the fact I’m a huge loser and no one ever liked me—and that I’m the butt monkey of my friend group. Cried myself to sleep/passing out. Skipped my 20th.

Brain? What is brain? 

I only like lists when they're presented in slideshow form, as dictated by corporate masters and overlords! 

Ok Dave Foley fan 

Lol Peloton fans

Lol trolls who troll

Ok troll

The analogy falls apart completely because I have no power at work and artists do. 

Reviewing prestige TV is pointless without ZMF or those guys who would post reviews in the comments that were longer and better than the posts themselves. Plus nothing on TV currently “owns.” Succession and Righteous Gemstones are both good shows, but there’s not a lot of OWNAGE.*

What is with this proofreading obsession everyone has now? Dangle some fucking modifiers or don't; subordinate clauses are okay here? 

That movie sucked...except for the future doorbell, which was fucking hilarious. 

But isn’t Joe Rogan just “asking questions” even though it “kills people” and is “criminally irresponsible?”

I disagree. If you have principles and a public platform, you have a responsibility to stand up for the truth. Otherwise you’re part of the damn problem.

How hard would it have been for JT to have said “Ms. Jackson (I’m nasty, you see) said I should keep my mouth shut on this, but all of you assholes are making her life miserable over absolutely nothing, so fuck you. None of you conservative pricks are going to buy my music anyway, so eat shit while you’re at it. Fuck…

Lol trolls 

Stay trolly, troll mctrollerson. 

Yes. Taylor Swift could personally bring the global economy to its knees. Her silence is deafening.

Hey, writing for the Daily Mail is a steady job. 

Finally, our long national nightmare is over.