Five years sounds a little extreme — your average offroading douchebag does far more damage to fragile desert flora of our parks that this woman could do to the hard granite of Mt. Rushmore. And the carvings on Mt. Rushmore aren’t even a natural feature. 

The United States today basically doesn’t believe in international law and that has been the position of the US since before Trump (see, for example, the US’s long refusal to sign numerous multilateral treaties such as the International Criminal Court statute and the Convention on the Rights of the Child). So this is…

Boston has this thing called the T. And there’s a commuter rail line that goes out to Needham.

But shouldn’t people get paid on the basis of their performance, not on the basis of gender or age or whatnot? That is a merit-based system. The USWNT athletes should get paid for their performance, yes, but in the world of sports business, performance is ultimately measured by the size of the audience that the…

Did you say front bottom?

Defendants settle cases all the time when they just want the problem to disappear, even if they think they would probably win in court.

No animal could possibly survive a spin cycle but it sounds like the spin cycle was stopped due to load imbalance.

Search a little harder. Melania Trump is a horrid person who happens to be a white American mother, but if you trash all white American mothers, you’re talking about my mom, and you’re talking about this mom:

I’m not Dutch but I do have Dutch envy, which originated from spending a few days at a physics conference in Amsterdam and then getting on a KLM flight with statuesque blonde flight attendants who casually rattled off the flight safety instructions in Dutch, English, French, and German.

the official stance of the Funbag is now that mayonnaise is awesome and delicious and one of our finest condiments and makes just about everything better. Mayo forever.

They don’t match because Emilie’s shirt has a horrid, huge Prada logo on the left breast. No thank you. Buy nice clothing to look nice, not to advertise the brand. 

I’m more astonished that the closet isn’t filled with stuff.  Who are these people? 

The answer is WHO THE HELL CARES.  And why did I read this post.  And why am I commenting on this post.  My life is of finite duration and any moment thinking about this is subtracting from the balance of my remaining life. 

Maybe they should be deported. 

They are the shoots and flowers of the garlic plant, and they are usually only available for a few weeks each year. If you see them, I urge you to try them. At my local store, they put them next to the asparagus, but again, they come and go in an instant. They can be roasted like asparagus and they have a wonderful…

Of course you should! Also, now’s your chance (or maybe too late) to grill garlic scapes —if you can find them at your local market then you should instantly buy and consume all of them. 

If you make a pizza with care and also take care of your employees, and it costs a little more for both of these reasons, my verdict is WOULD BUY. 

There are still better Hollywood Christophers (of which Hollywood Chrises is a subset):

And not for the first time, because her daughter already went to law school at — let’s see — oh it was Yale Law, where her mommy and daddy are both professors. Oh Aunt Becky, your attempts to get your daughter into college are just so nouveau riche. 

Attending Yale Law on “Army Ed Delay” also doesn’t take away from the fact that Sophia Chua Rubenfield went to Yale Law, which happens to be the law school where both her mommy and her daddy are on the faculty.