Fuck this guy. There’s nothing “gentle” about a libertarian. The libertarian health care plan is for people who can’t afford health care to die quickly and reduce the surplus population. The libertarian social security plan is for people who can’t afford retirement to die quickly and reduce the burden on the people…

Seriously, at a Volvo dealer $1000 will get you an oil change and a 12-point safety inspection. 

Roadside assistance is less than $1/month as an add-on to my auto insurance policy (with USAA). 

This is a story worthy of epic dramatization on stage or on screen: Chris Kattan, beautiful sweet young thespian, seeking the fruition of his life’s work in A Night at the Roxbury, faces the greatest dilemma of his blossoming acting career — the lustful, scheming machinations of the Hollywood elite.

TV: Game of Thrones seasons 5-8

Tragically, the tourists on the cruise ship still disembarked and proceeded to feed pigeons, buy T-shirts, and take selfies in St. Mark’s Square.

Not a fair comparison. Edward Scissorhands was a good person with a monstrous visage. Kushner is a monstrous person with a good visage.

HOA dues are a very big deal. An HOA can foreclose on your property if you don’t pay your dues. And an HOA can vote to double everybody’s monthly dues if the HOA didn’t plan for major capital expenses like replacing the roof on the condo building, or if half of the HOA members don’t pay their dues (For example, if…

A milk bar, you say?

Waiit a minute, his arm moves forward towards the peanut butter even before he runs into her. This is not a realistic depiction of a haphazard collision between chocolate and peanut butter lovers.

The answer is tacks, natch, because chair-related wrongdoing should be answered with chair-related consequences (see Leviticus). 

I like how we question the usefulness of this skill but not the usefulness of sportsball skill. I mean, people also spend every waking hour perfecting their ability to hit a round object with a stick or paddle. 

Kiiinda looks like Drew Magary if Drew was young and blond and good at sports. 

From the People article:

Also, fireworks suck -- the only appropriate use of fireworks is after you’ve destroyed the Death Star and you’re partying with Ewoks on a forested moon. 

While they’re at it, make sure each driver gets some kind of certification to display on his or her vehicle.  Call it a medallion, say.  Oh, and maybe have them paint their cars a particular color, oh I dunno, maybe yellow. 

Yeah, well, the ultrarich also buy art just to keep in in a vault for a few years and then resell it.  And they buy penthouse apartments in Manhattan and leave them unoccupied.  If you use all the stuff that you buy, you’re not in the club. 

It’s just a scaffold to hold the bondo or spackle or whatever in place until it hardens. But ramen is a pretty stupid option for the scaffold (except as an internet prank). You’d be better off using foam or shredded paper or Easter basket grass or something like that. 

Hey, if I were a hipster, wouldn’t I have to stop loving it if it ceased being cool? Or I guess I’d have to scorn any version of the spritz that isn’t crafted with artisanal ingredients. Which is basically what the NYT article is doing. From my point of view, when I want to make an aperol spritz, I buy the cheapest…

I loved Aperol Spritz so much when travelling in Italy ca. 2004 that I brought back two bottles of Aperol in my suitcase because you couldn’t even buy the stuff in the United States then.