Waiit a minute, his arm moves forward towards the peanut butter even before he runs into her. This is not a realistic depiction of a haphazard collision between chocolate and peanut butter lovers.

The answer is tacks, natch, because chair-related wrongdoing should be answered with chair-related consequences (see Leviticus). 

I like how we question the usefulness of this skill but not the usefulness of sportsball skill. I mean, people also spend every waking hour perfecting their ability to hit a round object with a stick or paddle. 

Kiiinda looks like Drew Magary if Drew was young and blond and good at sports. 

I live in a state (WA) where DWI checkpoints are unconstitutional under the WA state constitution as an illegal search without probable cause. I continue to believe that DWI checkpoints should not be legal in any state because they should be regarded as unconstitutional under the US Constitution, but that is not the…

From the People article:

Also, fireworks suck -- the only appropriate use of fireworks is after you’ve destroyed the Death Star and you’re partying with Ewoks on a forested moon. 

While they’re at it, make sure each driver gets some kind of certification to display on his or her vehicle.  Call it a medallion, say.  Oh, and maybe have them paint their cars a particular color, oh I dunno, maybe yellow. 

Yeah, well, the ultrarich also buy art just to keep in in a vault for a few years and then resell it.  And they buy penthouse apartments in Manhattan and leave them unoccupied.  If you use all the stuff that you buy, you’re not in the club. 

It’s just a scaffold to hold the bondo or spackle or whatever in place until it hardens. But ramen is a pretty stupid option for the scaffold (except as an internet prank). You’d be better off using foam or shredded paper or Easter basket grass or something like that. 

Hey, if I were a hipster, wouldn’t I have to stop loving it if it ceased being cool? Or I guess I’d have to scorn any version of the spritz that isn’t crafted with artisanal ingredients. Which is basically what the NYT article is doing. From my point of view, when I want to make an aperol spritz, I buy the cheapest…

I loved Aperol Spritz so much when travelling in Italy ca. 2004 that I brought back two bottles of Aperol in my suitcase because you couldn’t even buy the stuff in the United States then.

A horse walks into a courtroom to plead his case. The judge says, “Why the long face?”

Sorry to break it to you, but cooking spray is sprayed butter or oil.  So you’re violating your court order.  Off to jail with you. 

I know, seriously!  I mean, are there no prisons?  And the Union workhouses, are they still in operation?

Did you notice the jerks who voted for Trump in 2016?

So, what is the solution?

Isn’t it a little early to send your child for the sorting ceremony at Hogwarts? 

Seriously.  When I got to that part of the recipe, I said to myself, “hmmm.”  Brush oil on your grill and your fish with a basting brush, or, as you say, with a folded up paper towel.  I’ve never met a serious cook who uses cooking spray, let alone cooking spray near a grill. 

So now he’s saying not only that there’s “no collusion,” “no obstruction,” etc., but also that there’s “no ‘high crimes and misdemeanors.’” He must have just heard about that from a Fox News clown. That’s a narrative shift from “I didn’t commit an offense” to “Well, even if I did commit an offense, it’s not an impeacha…