That’s an excellent roadmap for making our country great again! All we need to do is roll back civil rights, voting rights, disability rights, environmental protections, workplace protections, and access to health care.

What nonsense is this? “Party cut” should mean either a giant pizza cut into very thin slices, or a giant stack of regular pizzas cut into regular slices (the latter being obviously preferable because a proper slice needs to be wide enough so that you can hold it from the crust end while eating it).

Wait, so Minnesotans boast about cutting a circular pizza into squares? There are so many things wrong with this cutting scheme, both from a geometrical perspective and from a structural/practical perspective.

That’s one toothy boob.

Also, you gotta wonder, with all the time Weinstein apparently spent in hotel rooms wearing bath robes and exposing himself to proteges, when did the man actually get any real work done? I expect that his underlings were doing all the work, so his time was freed up to masturbate and plot sexual assaults.

It’s OK.

Of course they’re suppressing votes. It’s Alabama. Roll tide!

Uh, at the age of 101. Bannon is 64 — you want him around for another 37 years?

I respectfully disagree, I think it’s important to put these people on camera and capture their reactions to questions.

Wait, what, you don’t like lamb tongue confit served with foie gras?

Or my nose hair scissors.

Indeed, all the Chambord, Grand Marnier, Crown Royal, and Frangelico you could want!

“I’m dying. SMEG. They put SMEG in huge letters across every one of these appliances, with no inkling at all that SMEG is two letters away from being foreskin cheese.”

What’s with the cowboy shtick? Does Alabama have many cowboys? I would have figured that when a white Alabaman is on a horse, he’s rounding up escaped slaves.

Indeed. In view of Trump’s attacks on the free press, I’ve continued to renew my NYT subscription, I’ve started a new subscription with my local paper (Seattle Times), and I’m thinking about also subscribing to the Washington Post in view of their excellent journalism about Trump, Roy Moore, etc.

Don’t despair, you’re on the right side of history. Things will turn around, it’s just a matter of time.

“France has awarded 13 US climate scientists with ‘Make Our Planet Great Again’ grants.”

That’s some pretty sweet granite, that would make for some very prestige tiling for my master bathroom suite. Just imagine the Zillow reviews! “Five-piece master bathroom with clawfoot tub and hand-hewn Half Dome granite walk-in shower. Imagine that you’re ascending a 5.12 pitch as you lather up.”

Bad at fly fishing but good at trolling.

Trump’s already an insult to the trans community, and the trans folks I know would be the first to make crude jokes like this.