Meanwhile, in football...Gimmy Jaroppolo has given the Patriots a Dutch town.

Nah, most White Sox fans still living can remember what it takes for their team to get to the World Series.

So it turns out these “neutral doctors" were, in fact, a bunch of Jags.

How about...Las Vegas Casino Gamblers Gambling Mob Bookies?

Just don't bother hitting that show pending button on this one. Jesus.

Pats fan: OMG Marshawn, why would you call me a bitch!?

It's fine for him to own Kam Chancellor, as long as he doesn't try to sell him to sports memorabilia merchants.

It’s been in the works since City were playing preseason matches. They’ve just been waiting for Barca to find a replacement, which they've done, to finalize the deal.

Never been. Where are they?

That's just the salmon on that tossed salad.

Sooooooo...she doesn't reveal what the fuck the sports machine actually does?

A spokesman for the LAPD said that to honor the day they won’t pass up the opportunity to shoot.

They can't cut him. It's not like there's a lot of out-of-work kickers, waiting for the phone to ring, and commenting on Deadspin articles

Errm, his name is Sadio Manè there guys.

United hatred + Mourinho hatred > Zlatan love. Simple math, theyll win the League.

It seems like something’s off here, like Jack Dickey is a Clickhole article and nobody has noticed the URL yet.

They should really just give it its own section on the site or something!

That is a truly awful shirt and you should be embarrassed to own it. Good grief.

I don't get it.

Nowhere near as impressive as the time he chugged a can of human feces through his eye.