Doctor: [checks xray] Let’s have a Luke.

I've never been less scared than when I figured out how to pronounce DangeRussWilson.

For me, it's always records that end up in the to-be-sold pile a day or two later.

What IV?

What's amazing is how much Belichik can hide up his sleeves, even though he cuts them all off.

I just hope Own Goal doesn't get injured on international duty, like all the other Arsenal players.

“I own all of Steve Winwood’s shit, how did you not know that about me?”

I ate to tell you but this is not covered in your plan.

You could’ve easily just written about City’s fast start and that they are big favorites at this point but instead you have to frame your article in this stupid premise just to get more clicks. Fucking blogger.

More like Washington THINskins!

There’s something weird going on with Chicago sports teams. Are the Cubs gonna do it!?

A corner store near where I used to work sued Dominick’s for using their name on a sign above the meat counter. The corner store owner won somewhere around $1,000 and the sign taken down.

New York Times writer: [begins penning article about Odds being the next hip neighborhood in Brooklyn]

If alcoholism is a disease, he might be I-L-L!

“The Coach? THE Coach!? I didn’t go to sausage school for nothin’.”

He's fine except that every match he tries to convince you is the most entertaining match ever played, even if it's Sunderland and Stoke playing a 1-1 draw on own-goals.

Next step: dump Arlo White.

+Rosiscky makes 11, many of which could be regular starters.

Huh? Wilshire, Ox, Welbeck, Theo (whoever sits from the crowded front) Debuchy, Gibbs, Chambers, Paulista, Arteta, Ospina.