That’s kind of the problem though, she wasn’t being held back, or restrained. They were carrying her out, and her arms were free, and she did something drunk and stupid people do. Maybe the plan was to get her out of there really quick to diffuse the situation. I’m unclear on who these officers are, police or…

I find a duck’s opinion of me is very much influenced by whether or not I have bread.

I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to as well.

“My belt holds up my pants. My pants have belt loops that hold up the belt. What the fuck’s really going on down there? Who is the real hero?”
- Mitch Hedberg

He went to the Eastern Motors Casino, where your job’s your credit, credit.

Just to confirm Isola’s story: any anecdote involving Stephon Marbury and the Knicks ends with him checking out.