Wow, this guy just can’t stop killing people. 

He’s seeing 4.56 pitches per plate appearance (2nd in MLB). OBP of .382. Hard contact rate of 35%. I don’t think I need to detail his power in the leadoff spot.

What’s not to like so far?

Driving two hours north to hang with family for the weekend, car breaks down (ends up being water pump), super hot outside, no water, phone almost dead, cranky kids (single dad), no water, middle of nowhere Michigan. I panicked.

“At Farmers, we’ve seen everything.”

Clean entry and very little splash. 9/10.

I new that girl, two.

Dude, it’s just a hair clip. You don’t need to throw the whole car in a lake.

weird Scrantonicity

If they’re looking for an unoccupied space that’s hosted bowls, how about Mark Davis’ head?

You turn up the stereo.

my best friend once got caught on fire. I screamed at his to stop drop and roll. He ran past me screaming “FUCK THAT IM ON FIRE”

Oh I definitely went with the track pack so no issues here.

Deadpool is much better looking, this can’t be him.

If you have a job, you need to not rely on others for transportation.

This is why I carry...a crazy person in my back seat. He handles the rage. And I can just relax and enjoy the drive.

D.B. Pooper

The resemblance is uncanny...

Ehhhhhh???!!!