Must’ve been her 2nd tablet:

They’re getting the fuck out of the dugout since apparently that’s where the jackass is aiming with the bat flip.

And presumably there was a copy editor who read that graf and did not immediately cross it off.

Obviously Dougherty was drunk when he wrote this. After all, he is likely descended from Irish.

This guy definitely walks away from explosions without looking back.

If I’m going to die, I’m going to die historic on the Fury Road.

[David Price meets with Dr. Andrews at the combine]

Purpose-built supercar fulfills purpose. News at 11.

Not always. You can’t speak in such absolutes. There’s always exceptions, and you have no fucking idea if this kid was an exception. My parents raised me and my 4 siblings absolutely wonderfully. Loving, caring, firm, supportive, etc. I’m a pharmacist. My two sisters are a doctor and a VP for a retail chain. …

I cannot imagine anything better after this post than you holding your sleeping daughter. It won’t last for long, enjoy!

So what? I failed to get 69 out of my wife last night and you don’t see that on the front page of Deadspin.

Fattest president since Taft? Fattest president since Taft.

Yup, because no one in Boston likes David Ortiz at all...

I’mma be real wit chu

I currently work for GameStop. Yes, COL is a huge part of our business. However, if someone wants a new game, I’m gonna give it to then. Some customers prefer to purchase preowned so they can utilize the 7 day “Like it” guarantee. Why not have the extra security, if the game sucks, return it for full money back? I…

However, VW engineering manager Hans Arschloch told Austria’s Motorung that cheat mode was an accidental—if fortuitous—discovery made while testing out the TDI’s twin-clutch (DSG) front-wheel-drive system. Arschloch explained:

“I didn’t put it in front of winning, but I think we all have things that we have to do. There has to be a line somewhere, and that’s what ended up happening.”