Or the post-credits scene where a now bleached/cropped haired Anton teams up with Steve Buscemi on a kidnapping scheme?

If that makes you sad, remember that someday people will be nostalgic for 2017

As long as there a movie about an anthropomorphic Twitter feed, it will have been worth it.

SMH: The Movie

General Audiences are Mindless Fucking Sheep and We Will Have Their Money Ha Ha Ha: The Movie!

There's still hope for my book, Vincent van Gogh: The Tears Behind the Laughter then?

How could the self-proclaimed "Painter of Light" be an asshole?? I refuse to believe it

I don't think I've ever wanted a movie to fail as much as this one. Maybe Sing!, but I think this wins.

Hmmm. What about my theory that he was troubled?

MYOF :(

This as good a place as any to share my pet theory that Van Gogh wasn't trying to be an impressionist, he was just very near sighted. His best paintings are photo-realistic representations of not having your glasses on.

I feel the same way when I go to the mall and there's a massive line at Auntie Anne's, but the Thomas Kinkade shop is totally empty!

This is the only book I have a vivid memory of reading, because I read It when the Hale Bop comet was flying over. Whenever I get sucked into a book, I have serious trouble taking breaks from it, which, for a book as long as It, means I was losing whole nights of sleep. The part where the book just goes insane, with…

Is there nothing emojis can't do?

It won't be habitable for another 20,000 years. Assuming we live that long, will humans 10,000 years from now even know that?

It's a space thing. There are like, four volumes of EU material all about them. Seriously, why do I even have to explain this?

I regale you with stories of my fighting prowess, and awkward stories of childhood trauma…

Maybe a little wine and candlelight then?

I do it at least 4 times a day, so they don't know what they're talking about.

Lord and who?