Mmmm, falafel.

K now I’m just hungry and craving falafel, thanks.

It SAYS in the KORAN to USE the INFIDELS handles and POLES against them in JIHAD, or possibly FALAFEL, which is a SNACK, and therefore ALEX JONES is the TEHINI of the PITA CHIP BOWEL CLEANSE.

Empty bus seats are pretty scary, though. Maybe the bus is haunted.

Yeah but you can’t tell what’s in those handles and poles. Could be really tiny terrorists!

One is a poorly structured horror story that nobody wants to live through in real life.

God, the history textbooks 60 years from now are going to be so weird.

I would have paid to see a shark eat Donald Trump.

Absolutely! I think that of all the “jokes” recounted here, that’s the one that is closest to really working. I’m a white trans women, and I know without a shadow of a doubt that my whiteness protects me from some transphobia. The thing about Mr. Chappelle, though, is that I don’t think he knows enough about the…

Oh trust me, reading the book left me vomiting on the Toronto subway.

“most disturbing movie ever made”..???

Oh, so I post something about how I’m so racist I’d be willing to kill a baby and suddenly I’m the bad guy? Damn libruls ruining the country.

Foisted on his own petard.

Things my dad taught me:

So gay. Real men don’t words. Man snowflake butt stuff.

I’m a real man’s man because my erection points ever-heavenward and everyone cares about my boner. “Such a boner” they murmur. I also have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.

As an Important Man who Writes Things On the Internet, I find this article reproachable, a pustule on the true virtues of manliness. I do not read articles such as this, I allow them to be placed in front of my eyes so that I may absorb their knowledge, a skill unbeknownst to the females who peruse this site—a site,…

Ok so they told these children “We’re going to pretend to give you money and you’re going to pretend to be sad when we take it away. If you do a really good job pretending then we’re going to cast you in this movie and then actually give you lots of money but if you do a bad job at pretending then the opportunity to…

Agreed.

Chris Christie is Augustus Gloop mixed with Veruca Salt