Cobb AccessPort Stage 1 tune and no other mods I can hit just under 5 seconds to 60 if I'm brutal with the clutch in my '06 Legacy Outback XT 5M. In-gear passing is what's most impressive about it though. Good luck finding a nice one under $10k.

This mirrors what a lot of the European press says. Quick, tidy handling, competent and utterly soporific in fine VW style.

If your name was Scott Syrup would you have been a pancake magnate?

There's a lot of money in ensuring a large, captive market isn't able to consume a product they're hungry for.

Or, buy a used Model S.

It's pretty clear you guys are using Bring a Trailer to source a lot of these. How about giving them credit?

I said it a year ago.

You can see my house in this clip. No, seriously.

Saturn but no Tatra?

My '06 Outback XT 5M should rank pretty highly on this list as well. Mild Cobb stage 1 tune and I'm pushing 300 HP and routinely surprise Coyote Mustangs and E46 M3s.

It was already a half-baked attempt from what I've read—this is just the final nail in the "meh" coffin for me. Such a shame, they were so close to brilliance! A running theme throughout the past 30 years or so of Alfa history it would seem.

It took you that long to figure it out?

Fine by me. I was objecting to being called a Luddite for my chosen hobby.

Fine by me. I was objecting to being called a Luddite for my chosen hobby.

Fine by me. I was objecting to being called a Luddite for my chosen hobby.

Thanks for calling me a fogey.

When making dismissive, broad-stroked, smug, self-righteous comments becomes a fully automated process us automobile enthusiasts will relish the opportunity to call you a Luddite.

It was the car's way of demanding a new paint scheme. Let's hope it gets its wish.

My '99 Saturn SL was abject garbage. I can't imagine any of these being worse.

One option, however, is not available on the Civic at any price: an air of vapid, baseless superiority and shallow, bougie consumerism.