Listen, bitchlette, he didn’t have to run for president. He could have gone on with his businesses, making deals, not paying his taxes, not paying his bills, living in his gilded bubble, and doing whatever it is he does to stay in the news. He chose to run for president. He chose to channel Greg Stillson to gain…

Didn’t he wanted sensual inauguration?? Also, he will blame it on a rain.

Kelly Anne Conway thought it was a good idea to leave the house this morning dressed like a nutcracker, why the fuck would I take any of her advice?

My coworkers are cracking themselves up about the Obamas stealing the furniture, cause, you know, black people...

This makes me so fucking happy. Sure, it’s fleeting, but right now I’ll revel in the schadenfreude.

“My crowd was bigger than Obama’s in ‘09 if you take out the people who were at his inauguration illegally.” - Donald Trump

At this point many Trump supporters are so delusional, you could stab their parents in front of them - as long as you explain that it’s necessary to make America great again, they would smile and nod while trying to dodge the blood splatter.

If she smiled, that skin-suit would split open & slide right off her skull.

Listening to the NPR hosts try to describe how light the crowds are while avoiding making it sound like they were crowing about it in a partisan fashion was amusing.

Everyone had the same idea. “Yeah, I am not going to that loser’s swearing in. I’d rather do my laundry instead.”

Rumor is Trump’s camp has been offering $1 mil to anyone willing to play. Seems like a lot of words to say “I wanted the money.”

Bears at least are fiercely protective of their cubs. Bears probably care a lot about good education for cubs. Vote Bears in 2020!

My daughter’s 3rd grade class has been partnering with a zoo based program to design enrichment activities for grizzly bears.

Watch the exchange below.

It’s a quote from the Bible: “Blessed be the glassmakers for your eyes are fucked after reading this.”

This is thw worst font. The monogram and pregnancy announcement font. I don’t know what it is called but I HATE IT.

Always one more.

I’m iffy on the outcome of an impeachment. If he stays in office then he’s (once again) the victim. If he’s removed from office, we get Pence who actually knows what he’s doing and we all know how fighting that is.

Also change chemical to element. Gallium is a pure metal that is 31 on the periodic table of elements not a chemical compound.

Please change the title. That is not soft and squishy. It’s brittle. I’m not even going to go into the wording in the article. My head might explode.