Peyton pals around with papa John, Eli lives in Hoboken and seems to be liked by his locker room. In particular, the media tried to get negative quotes from Eli about boatgate and he blew them off saying it was an off week and they could do what they want. 

I like that parallel. They’re also both more likable than their relatives.

I read this after a long string of comments clowning on Adam Schefter for his music range consisting of soft rock and softer rock and was extremely confused.  “There’s no one named Jason Mills in the Eagles, and what song is he saying they should cover?”

Except for Ted Bundy, interestingly enough 

I KNOW RIGHT!!!!! Especially since with the twins she went full Earth Mother Goddess.  Are we really to believe that she was so wonderstruck by the miracle of pregnancy the second time around but not the first?! 

Or that Beyonce was never pregnant with Blue, which I will believe until my dying day 

You are correct. I definitely learned this a while ago from deadspin comments and because I am too lazy to verify who that was I am giving the credit to you. 

I know it's a typo, but I've now got an image of a willy wonka type thing where when you get hit in the face with the gold ball you win a prize 

This is the quality content that keeps me coming back to Deadspin

Balls, you are right, I couldn’t think of one for Cam and typed in my thing for Wilson without deleting Cam.  I am not the brightest.

What about those of us outside the SEC? 

What about those of us outside the SEC? 

Ben Roethlisberger - punches to groin preferred

At this point I'm pro-flags for the QB. These rules to try to protect them are nonsensical, let's just give up the pretense all together. Plus, it paves the way for flags for everyone, which is probably the only way to make football safe for the brain. 

Where do I send my check to help get that project off the ground? 

This shit is adorable.  I want all sports PR to be cute shit like this or when the Lions had players put their hands in a box and figure out what they were touching.

And yet he’s never drank to the point of blacking out. Unlike the other 99.9% of drinkers who accidentally (or purposefully) got super wasted when we were young and trying to figure out our alcohol tolerance. 

Well put. While I appreciate this post, Drew’s from last year dealt with that issue much better. He explained that people - his peers - told him to act better and he dismissed them without really engaging with what they were telling him. He explained that he was looking at these comments from his own perspective, and…

Exactly. What the shit, Dan? 

This is my favorite username on this site.  Keep up the subtle burns!

The whole program should be shut down. There’s no way this isn’t just the tip of the iceberg.