And a significant subsection of those perpetually scared white people are armed at all times. They sell goddamn running holsters so you can be strapped while you’re out for a jog. I can’t imagine living in that kind of constant fear.

Oh, I didn’t know you were also at my sister in law’s wedding.

Maybe you didn’t hear about it, you’ve been away for a long time, but Tommy don’t shine shoes any more.

Oh go fuck yourself

Wait. Salsa?

Modern bars are way further apart, for one thing.

I love that goddamn movie more than is rational. So stupid. So good.

Yes, and in the second one I swear I remember a scene where they all split up and the white people form one group and I think Regina Hall goes “oh God we’re going to die” or something like that.

Trader Joe’s makes this everything bagel seasoning blend with garlic and salt and poppy seeds etc. I put it on peanut butter toast. Savory and delicious.

I don’t get this genre of joke. Why would you marry someone you don’t like?

Seriously, why create more trash than absolutely necessary? It doesn’t just disappear when the garbage truck comes. (Possible exception if you compost all of your tissues, but I doubt that’s the case here)

I eat it on popcorn like an absolute lunatic

Look but don’t touch hand towels being the worst of this category. It’s a fucking towel, don’t put it out if you don’t want to ever have people touch it. If you want to buy fancy towels just accept that they’ll fall apart in the wash 10 years from now and you’ll have to buy more someday.

Also a lady, also with only functional pillows. But I do think we’re in the minority, based on my very scientific study of women in my family and friends groups.

Fair enough, but I have always been a five points girl myself

It’s not irrational to hate Brearley and/or Kenilworth. The only good thing in that town is the Bagels 4 U on Kenilworth Blvd.

Yeah, this seems to me like someone who knew her and knew she had so much money in checking. A rando searching through mail for an envelope with a check probably isn’t going to write such a huge check.

The SEO on this page is magnificent.

ITT: