Not to mention the fact that the three wise men weren’t fucking at the birth of Christ to begin with.

This is beautiful

Because humans find them so goddamn adorable

Your mom doesn’t trust you with a key so you can sleep over and lock up when you leave in the morning?

Why the fuck not? I’m not any less of an American because I live and vote in California.

God yes. He looks like he’s throwing the shovelfull of dirt directly at his own face. Good thing he only dug about 3.5 inches deep before burying all of his ugly jewelry.

Hot take, Mr. Pink.

Isn’t that Rob Corddry in that photo? That guy is fucking funny. Hasn’t anyone seen hot tub time machine?

Counterpoint:

This piece is absolutely beautiful. So sad and so full of compassion. Everyone should read it.

As an employee of an educational institution he was almost certainly a mandated reporter. So yes he broke a law. In addition to being a heartless bastard and an overall bad person who is now burning in hell.

Is the statue still up inthis scenario?

Wait. When the game stands tall isn’t a parody? I always assumed from the title it was some not another teen movie-esque parody of sports movies.

Like a Muslim registry and containment camps? Because that was a fucking campaign platform.

Russ wasn’t a virgin pre-Ciara. He’d been married before and got a divorce. The two of them just didn’t have sex with each other before marriage.

Thumb Awareness would be a great name for a band. One with lots of songs praising the female orgasm.

Oh hey, it’s you. You’ve got me blocked on twitter so I’m taking this opportunity to let you know that you’re a fucking moron with unresearched, knee-jerk opinions.

Then rent Dances with Wolves and cry for a solid month. Costner is and was a major Hollywood player, not some flash in the pan actor like Pratt.

You’re a racist son of a bitch. We don’t all think like you. We really really don’t.