Ha — "the same amount as when you're pregnant" would be "some", to me, so her sanctimonious little rant would be wasted on me.

Yesss. Anyone who tries to tell me I shouldn't drink a little at the end of my imaginary future pregnancy or after I've had my imaginary future child will be given my best deathstare of doom.

I'm intrigued by the whole fake-follower thing — I lost 300-odd followers today, but I didn't buy them or in any other way encourage them to follow me… so why did they bother following me? Mysterious!

I'm quite tempted to write An Imagined Email Conversation with a Bride From a Photographer, but it'd be too depressing. (But that's only for the brides I don't end up working for. The ones I do end up working for are mostly excellent and get that things cost money.)

YES. I was expecting that one. It's the weirdest.

I've never heard of a coconut cake but I *really* want one right now. I love Bounties, so I'm sure I'd love coconut cake.

Agreed.

Yes, yes, yes – it's lovely to remember how brilliant I feel when I stop eating such rubbish all the time. I do love a cleanse (but a "cleanse" in the sort of "tidying" way rather than any mystical health stuff).

I never heard it in the US, either, so I suspect not.

I would like to come to your parties, please.

Ha, yep – "bollocks" is a hard one for Americans to master, I've found.

I'll take that as a compliment. My resident American asked me who Kirstie Allsopp was today, and even he – someone who lives with me – was delighted by the many and varied ways I can use "cunt" in 30 seconds, all while serenely doing my nails.

"End of." gets a lot of use in my house. (From me, not the resident American who apparently had never even heard "Bob's your uncle" till the other day.)

Ha, I'm probably not I'm definitely not descended from any English noblemen! (Unless the noblemen were slumming it with illiterate Lithuanian and Irish immigrants, which I suppose they could've been… but the chances of it being my illiterate Lithuanian and Irish immigrants is slight.)

I just got my father-in-law the Ancestry one for Christmas — I'd been considering foisting it upon him randomly for my own DNA nosiness (I've come to a halt on my own family, so now I'm turning my attention to my husband's far more exotic-to-me gang). But THEN he, out of nowhere, brought it up and said he'd be really…

Fascinating! Thanks so much for the info.

I'm definitely staying in London till after I have any kids I might have.

I can't dance so we just… DIDN'T DO IT. I shoot weddings so I've seen so, so, so many insanely awkward first dances. We never even thought about it. I don't know why so many people put themselves through it (and tell their photographer how much they're hating it).

Ha, totally meant to include the link, obv! http://names.darkgreener.com/

Definitely on a rise – I'd love to see this chart just for the people-who-put-birth-announcements-in-the-Times set, because it seemed like it'd be in the top five. http://names.darkgreener.com/#ottilie