When I moved to America I assumed for ages that I was just sleeping with lots of blokes who happened to be Jewish. (And *now* I'm wondering if the lack of circumcision has anything to do with why my two longest American relationships – one boy with hippie parents, one boy with Mexican parents – being my two longest…

Ugh, pictures of people eating are the worst – I have no idea why some photographers shoot meals. (Also, why are they not eating? How do they keep going through the reception if they haven't eaten?!) I love to shoot the dancing, though, even though it makes for tons of deleting later… I reckon I end up filing one in…

That sounds like it might be it, indeed. I'm in London and I don't think Pinterest is anywhere near as big of a deal here, plus the brides I've worked with are very not rural. (Even so, of course people during the wedding – and increasingly as at the reception, based on how much they've drunk – have "brilliant" ideas…

YES. I love this. I totally see that as my job when I shoot a wedding – I'm there to give you the very best version of yourself and your family and your friends. I love that; I find it very satisfying.

I absolutely think photography's the best thing to spend money on, other than the food and drinks. I'm obviously biased being a photographer, but so, so many people at weddings come up to me and tell me their horror stories of skimping on the photography and then being disappointed. (Having said that, one of my…

Blimey, that poor photographer. I've never had a client mention Pinterest, let alone ask me to recreate something… do you think it might be regional? I'm fascinated by stuff like this.

The kid thing seems totally true in places I've worked. The companies were falling over themselves to be flexible for parents of both sexes — non parents didn't get anywhere near as many options.

You're lucky!

That's how I did everything in uni.

Yes! I think half the people in Britain have the closest-super-market-to-the-station horror, and the other half (my sister, for example) have the opposite.

How odd! The first thing you see as you approach my horrible, depressed, depressing home town is the glowing yellow light of the Morrisons sign. I shudder every time I see one. (And at the other extreme, every Waitrose reminds me that I escaped. FREEDOM!)

We just moved offices and our nearest supermarket used to be Waitrose but now it's Morrisons. It's very confusing.

Yes. (And to the second question, not that I know of.)

Exactly. I can do liquid eyeliner pretty well now, because I've been practicing for… 12 years. And that's all I can do. I know NOTHING else. I don't wear foundation because I try once every year or so and it looks rubbish so I give up.

I wish I'd had a lesson. I was a mess for the first decade or so of make-up wearing. I'm 32 now and I've figured out how to do one (one!) look successfully so I just do it all the time.

I've pretended not to speak English to avoid talking to strangers in queues before (but more than once it's backfired and they've launched into some sort of crazed racist tirade about fucking foreigners who don't even speak fucking English, which is still probably better than the conversation they were planning before…

Even in Iceland!

Everything British people do is fancy.

YES. I was finding this article fascinating until I got to the "I am so sick and fucking tired of foreigners" bit. I'll just fuck off back to foreign land now, I suppose. Bloody hell.

I just got 24. Holy moly.