On Sept. 11, 2001, UAL 175 flew over my head and into the South Tower of the WTC. I’m sure you can imagine what a shitty day that was.

Beware of hipsters...

Once I told my ex I was thinking of leaving, she started to make me take selfies of the two of us to show everyone on social media what a solid, loving couple we were. This was after years of her making fun of such couples. We are no longer married.

I’ve been boycotting Sesame Street since they ditched Roosevelt Franklin.

I owned a 2008 E. It was insanely reliable and perfect for camping or the beach. It was roomy as hell as I fit bicycles, a snow blower and a yard of topsoil in the back with the seats up. I even drove it on sand roads in South Jersey without any problem. I resent my ex-wife for making me sell that thing.

I’m shocked, shocked that your client had reliability issues with an Audi.

That vonderhoosmagaggle hasta be ordered from Germany for only $799.99 and requires the entire vonderhoosmagaggle assembly for an additional $499.99, but you can get an aftermarket one for $199.99. The US equivalent part on my Ford goes for $24.99.

If there are any openings in your bulding, please let me know! ;-)

Wow, $40K/year is only a little more than $3300/month. How can you afford a NYC apartment when the average rent in Queens is $2,137.60/month? Are you living under the BQE in a box?

NYU is already converting the crypt into classroom space.

$4700/mo + broker fee.

Well, submissive in the sack can be a turn-on but submissive behavior outside among the rest of the world can be a definite turn-off.

My GF and I share about 95% of the same musical tastes, but she passionately enjoys listening to Harry Nilsson and I am thoroughly disinterested in the guy’s music. We disagree vehemently but at least we laugh about our disagreement.

Will the Sharks be holding a “grunge night” this season? I think I still have my flannel shirt and ripped jeans somewhere...

I feel guilty for laughing at that.

I love the feeling of long labia in my mouth. It’s definitely a turn-on.

As I zoom past middle age, this guy wants a Nut Bra.

We mackerel-snapping anarchists and our idolatry and wanton drunkenness drives the fundies crazy. The Simpsons nailed “Catholic Heaven” perfectly.

I think Dick Cheney shooting lightning bolts from his fingers at Luke Skywalker was pretty awesome.