When I finished my freshman year of college, I made the boy who dumped me a week before finals clean out my dorm room.

Opioids?

I took this course in high school. It was very educational.

Well, yeah, plenty of people have run for positions (and won!) for which they are not qualified. That doesn’t mean it’s a good thing.

Yeah, I was also motivated after the 2016 election. You know what I did? Volunteered with my local Democratic precinct, sought a city council committee appointment, wrote Postcards to Voters, joined the board of a local nonprofit.

No way. I feel like she and TV networks have been blowing it up non-stop because, surprise, she has an album coming out. Wasn’t the gym photo taken before she posted to social media about looking different? She didn’t look different in the gym photo, and she doesn’t look different now. I hope we all can quit talking…

Well, it’s a conspiracy. Deadspin is a hive mind that hates your team, hometown, and political party, as well as you personally, and only ever writes stories about things you hate. Duh.

Cuz I hate mindless hyperbole.

Coachella is owned by yet another robber baron who would just as soon see everyone who is not a billionaire crushed with boots on their necks.

I literally can’t remember the last time I read a root article and the top comment didn’t awkwardly attempt to rip on white people.

A foolproof plan, except for the part where little league players have to throw accurate pitches for it to work.

It’s almost as though one of them is consciously, systematically aware at every moment of how to make himself look good for the cameras that will broadcast every wave of his arm and muss of his hair to a global TV audience, and the other is Leo Messi.

Comparing the two is a dumb thing to do (spoiler alert, they play different roles on the pitch). But always remember it’s a Haisley post. He’s not exactly unbiased in this particular debate.

You are literally just as bad as the person who made that video.

Richie Incognito looks like he was in a sports movie 20 years ago as a kid and has reunited with his castmates for a photoshoot for People Magazine.

the retirement of offensive lineman Richie Incognito

Ok I was mad at you for your first comment but I also just spat out my iced tea with your 9-year-old comment so thank you for that.

It’s really all we have left to hold on to as we barrel towards irrelevance.

He’s black.