If that’s what you read, snowflake, it’s because you’re melting in an emotional sense.

Did you know that “give your children an advantage in life” and “don’t fuck over other kids by maintaining systemic racism” aren’t two things at odds with one another? It’s like, wow, you don’t have to choose between the two!

POTUS is probably going to be ignoring subpoenas from Special Counsel in the next few months.

No, you still don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m not shocked, somehow.

Or like the white guys from every dying small town in the Midwest and South!

Sure, I’m not saying it’s a wrong move. Jurassic World and the Marvel stuff were hits. He’s had his share of misses (Mag 7, that one weird creepy space gaslighting movie with Jennifer Lawrence), but it’s clearly worked out for him. I’m just confused about how it did. Probably because I’m old. 

I’m still not sure how Chris Pratt became an action-movie A-lister. He’s a fun comedy guy and would be great as the goofy friend of the lead in a ‘90s rom-com, but I’m just confused every time I see this dude trying to fill the roles that he fills in most of these movies.

Meeting in public is a good idea. You never know when the person that you’re breaking up with might get violent in some way.

Sounds about right. White people in America are basically all addicted to opioids and too lazy to move out of their failing towns that they’ve destroyed because they’d rather do drugs. These sorts of criminals always end up in gangs, running drugs, doing drugs, and generally being the violent animals that they’re…

He shouldn’t have to glad hand these violent, racist whites just to be able to feel comfortable in his neighborhood if he doesn’t want to. Shit, if he wants to be a shut-in, that’s his right. 

I agree, which is why I always make sure to keep one eye on these wild, violent white men out here who can’t control themselves and run over women who refuse to date them or who shoot at as many people as they can with all the guns they hoard.

You’d call it racist because you’re stupid, son. 

See how these racist white animals like Dindu go on the attack immediately as soon as they feel that they aren’t being given enough love? Dindu is probably going to pull an Elliott Rodgers or a Toronto attack or a Waffle House attack because he’s just unable to control his own violent urges.