Starbucks gift cards. (Better: local coffee joint gift cards.)

How could you miss these two:

Way off-topic, but now all I can picture is a guy walking around saying, in his best Sidney Poitier voice, "They call me MR. Tits." Please tell me your husband does this.

I call them idiots for making idiotic statements and believing idiotic things, fucknut. Pretty simple really, kinda like your worldview appears to be.

Seriously. My bp went up 100 points when I got to that part.

It is sickening, and it's the same line of thinking that has people believing that rich folks are smarter than us and deserve our love and respect. "Oooohh...Donald Trump is talking! Tell me more!"

Sorry you had to hear it from me. Have a drink.

It may be because they're idiots. It's taken me decades to finally realize that that is what's afflicting my supposedly-highly-educated parents, who are definitely of the "not my problem, get a better job" set.

Pfft. You know Jim Nantz wrote that article, not Brennan. Every year, as soon as that sappy music starts playing on Masters Saturday, if you listen carefully you can hear Nantz moaning with pleasure in the background.

I would’ve said the 4th and 26 game, but now — the hell with Darren Sharper. And although my wife would want me to say Agassi over Sampras in the ‘02 US Open final, the play that would give me the most personal satisfaction would have been seeing someone annihilate Dale Hunter after his cheap shot on Turgeon in ‘93.

Beat me to it. That, or The Drive in ‘87. Fuck John Elway.

Doing something like that for the cats is grade A in my book.

I know, right? Tipping and being at least pleasant to your servers is just a basic way to spread some cheap joy around. I'll sometimes tip more if the person in front of me was an insecure, dickish little girl. Maybe it makes the servers day, or minute, or hour, and maybe they're in turn nicer to someone else that…

Not even close; Maryland is a rat's asshole, period. But Virginians? Yeah, we're the biggest snobs for the fewest reasons anywhere. Except for South Carolinians, of course.

Well if Natasha Vargas-Cooper says it, it MUST be true.

As long as you don't also snap your fingers at her.

This thread has restored my faith in humanity.

Riccardo Patrese adds his two cents.

Now you have.

I would never diss my own alma mater, the Alma Mater of a Nation. ;)