They might wholesale it to Justin the Wholesale Guy who comes around every Thursday at three with Dunkin’ Donuts.

I think these records would be much more exciting if when they were beaten, Guinness sent staff to your house and killed you. Sorry, Jenny. Someone just roller-limbo’d even lower. You knew the stakes.

If I replace my Miata with a TT will I grow a vagina faster?

Yeah, but “prettiest Zimmer” is a lot like saying “tastiest shit sandwich”.

FUCK YOU!!! SHUT YOUR DIRTY, DIRTY MOUTH!!!

Chrysler LX cars. Granted these are extra bad examples, but I’m yet to see a tastefully modified one.

Who, what, when, where, why, and how the hell did they get away with this!? They’re not even Lincolns! They’re Fords! And not even LTDs! Grenada’s forchristssake!A confounded and damnable Fairmont for all intents and purposes, European Sport Sedan package or no. No wonder these couples who were paid to own both are…

“WE’RE GONNA HAVE TO CUT YOUR EYE, ROCK!”

They should just name their lineup Hyundai Genesis, MegaDrive, Master System, Saturn, Neptune, 32X, CD, and Dreamcast while they’re at it.

I felt sorry for Sliced Bread for about five seconds.

There’s a Gordon party boat setting sail tonight, and it’s riding on the waves of butthurt Logano fans’ tears! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

And Kenseth is a hero for plowing Bevis into the wall.

Sometimes I wonder how I’d react in a similar situation with the local news. I’d either go this route or way over the top, claiming I was pregnant with the President’s lizard baby and how its cold blood can’t abide the rising waters. At any rate, the man deserves an award. I hate local news.

You know someone was expecting a sudden “BABA BOOEY, BABA BOOEY!”

Years ago, I had a panhandler at an intersection berate me for driving an A3, claiming I’d wasted my money and should have bought a Tiguan instead. It was surreal.

You should ask them what they think about Jewish people.

That isn't a shockwave - those are ripples of liberty and freedom being spread

2010 Jalopnik Batshit Babe Contestnants.