Am not allowed to think Zizou and Brazilian Ronaldo were better? Is it consensus for Messi now?

For every douche here who is complaining that this is pointless, who cares, and so on: This site really needs to happen, and it will fail because Whitlock is an bloviating egomaniac who can’t see the big picture. And when it does, there won’t be another chance for a good long time, and so it matters that Whitlock is…

damn greg did he fuck your bitch or what?

I don’t know if anyone has written in depth about this phenomenon but I’ve felt it several times in my life, multiple times when watching Ben Folds perform. “I am enjoying this so much but this is so depressing knowing that I will never be able to play the piano this well.”

NCAA - “getting free shit is so serious to us, you’re better off facing state shoplifting charges.”

And yet somehow *I* was the mediawhore/distraction.

“Kneel, my son.”

This gif is so White it has a fully diversified trust fund.

Oh, cool, I like watching soccer highlights on Youtube. I'm reading an article about Eden Hazard. I should probably watch the real thing a bit just to get a feel of his under appreciated skill-set look —- AWFULEUROTECHNO right to the dome.

I would change John Terry slipping and missing what would have been the decisive penalty in the 2008 Champions League Final to John Terry slipping and missing what would have been the decisive penalty in the 2008 Champions League Final and his pants falling down and the entire world laughing at his tiny pink willie…

If I could go back in time, I’d have lunch with Adolf Hitler in Vienna, 1912, before he had fully embraced antisemitism. We’d talk about what his plans were for the money from his father’s estate and have a passionate discussion on the merits of zonal marking on set pieces. Hitler would order the schnitzel, and I, the…

Well, damn. If that woman was any blonder, bustier and ditzier, her kids probably wouldn't have been vaccinated.

Man, that's tough. You really want to pull for the guy, but... I just can't root for a guy named Brady Aiken. Sorry Brady, can't do it.

{slowly raises hand, hating himself the whole time}

"Is there video?"

Bud Light - I'm from St. Louis where most of us grow up with it and you can drink it forever like the 4 days I just spent in Vegas where I drank it about 16 hours/day

Just a metric fuckton of sweetness and awesome.

If we want to get technical, Gasol is Catalan, not even Spanish.

Last time I saw Jon Stewart kick anybody that hard in the dick, it was Tucker Carlson on Crossfire.

Dear Watt, I wrote you but you still ain't calling

I thought Chad was the most impressive of the three. Lon was way too hesitant to say anything with Esfandiari around, and he'd spend half a minute explaining himself when he misstepped instead of just calling the hands. Esfandiari is great, but I was a little surprised by how well Chad kept up with the technical parts…