Sorry, but the most controversial college op-ed was obviously the one that Kirsten Dunst used to get the school nurse sacked for handing out contraceptives.

Q: What would you call the guy who got busy with Miley’s hairdresser after this event?

I seriously stopped going to Exxons and Speedways because of those tvs.

There used to be a rumor at UMass - Amherst that he bought us lobsters every Halloween but it turns out it was just local fisherman being dope.

I guess that’s not Akin to illegitimate porn, either.

#tbt

Cackle my Gladys, tbh

This makes me think that it’s been waaaay too long since I’ve been to NYC. The words “Taxi” and “TV” only bring this to mind

MARK I THOUGHT YOU MEANT THAT THE LADY THEY BURIED WAS SOMEHOW ALIVE UNDERGROUND FOR FORTY FUCKING YEARS

“Charging a man with a six-inch Italian B.M.T. was like handing out speeding tickets in the Indy 500. I took the B.M.T. What the hell else was I gonna do?”

“I wanted a six-inch Italian B.M.T. And for my sins, they gave me one.”

How are people referring to something that makes you black out and trash shit as “synthetic marijuana?” That is not what marijuana does. That’s more like synthetic PCP.

Not necessarily, and this is a pretty classist/elitist way of viewing people who work at one of America’s largest employers.

If I see white people walking around in Dashikis and bindis at the same time, I’mma burn this shit to the ground.

for the last time,

A full bottle is easier to brake. Pro tip from a eastern European, empty bear bottles kill full ones just knock people out.

You are a wit for all seasonings and if you were local I would tell you to cumin and hangout any thyme.

Must. Fight. Urge.

I think we’ve reached a statute of limitations on it; I mean, it came out when I was in high school!