I meant no disrespect. It was simply a play on words that I would have made in any language. My last name has never been pronounced correctly. My husband was recently told “well, that’s not how we spell [his name] here”. I never gave a thought to be offended? My local airport is referred to as Ft Liquordale. Florida,…

Watered down Watergate.

Can you blame the guy, though? Who doesn’t have a story of a friend or family member who realized they’d been overlooking their soulmate until that fateful day when he copped a feel and unloaded his magazine into the wall to show his devotion?

Evidently you ignored the Scooby Gang’s PSAs on ‘Ghosts & Other Unexplained Phenomena’

What if the hologram becomes sentient and has moral problems with shamelessly cashing in on dead celebrities who can no longer consent or object to their image being used this way?

I think I spend about 50% of my waking hours being that bear.

My husband and I toured the Paris Catacombs. It was one of the pivotal experiences in my life - I emerged with a profound acceptance of my own mortality, along with some insight into the darker side of human nature. While we were in there, we saw a woman (an American, sunnysunny-blond, moneyed, extremely entitled) pry…

Yeah, my dad and his buddies did a “Nuns On The Run” thing for Fantasy Fest in Key West. There’s so much “wrong” there I don’t even know where to start.

They are married to him.

Several halloweens ago, I was at a house party with a few friends and lots of people I didn’t know. I walked into the bathroom and walked right in on a nun giving a BJ to Jesus while he was drinking a glass of wine and smoking a cig.

Hey, you were halfway there...

I wrote a parody of Passion of the Christ (as a kind of performance art piece) that was so sacrilegious that my friends who performed in it had their kid taken away in a custody dispute when the Catholic judge was shown pics of it. Took years to straighten out. Worst thing I ever accidentally did.

I’m sure everyone else has a better one, but this is my best shot:

There’s always money in the banana stand.

Octopodes or octopuses ;) octopi is a false romanization. Penises or penes, which sounds like a pretty good pasta. WHY DO I KNOW THESE THINGS

There is no “we.”

And then Willow could throw one of his magic acorns at trump and turn him to stone.

Ladies didn’t anyone every tell you?

I blame Henry David Thoreau for this. Guy thought just because he sharpened the axe he borrowed he was totally independent of society, and people ATE THAT UP.

Okay, I’ll admit I didn’t make it to the end because I worried I would cause myself actual harm from how hard I was rolling my eyes.