But, for a case to be considered medical malpractice, the plaintiff must demonstrate that significant harm occurred as a result of failure to provide standard care. I’m offended by this lady, not because the clinic didn’t fuck up, but because she thinks having a brown baby is a tragedy worthy of compensation.

It came out too dark! Breakfast is RUINED!

A few years ago, I finally got my first job as a classroom teacher. I was so nervous about teaching 5th grade. The night before the first day of school we held an ice cream social where kids could meet their teachers and drop off supplies. One girl walked in, looked me up and down, and said, “You’re my teacher? Yeah,…

On my daughter’s first day of kindergarten, she clotheslined a 1st grade boy who had earlier called her a “booger eater” and made fun of her Dora backpack as he walked down the school bus aisle. They’re both in high school and dating now.

I wasn’t what you would cool cool or even remotely popular in elementary school: shy, socially awkward, bright pink owl glasses, feathered bangs shellacked with hairspray (thanks, 1990), braces, big front teeth...the works. Anyway, I was convinced middle school was going to be a different story for me. So the first…

I’ve got two good ones for the humiliation camp. One is now laughable, the other still cringeworthy...

This is not quite a back to school story, but it was a triumph. When I was in fifth grade, I had some problems with one of my teachers and part way through the year, he called my mom in, threw a tantrum, and told my mom that I would never accomplish anything in life (And yes, I was a pain, but I am sure that I never…

In first grade, I don’t remember what happened but my first grade teacher, Mrs. McCarley, threatened to paddle every single one of us until whoever did The Thing confessed to doing it. (This was the 80s, so paddling was still a thing.) I did NOT do the thing, and I sure as hell wasn’t getting paddled for it, so I went…

In the style of the LET ME LOVE YOU! gif, I HAVE STORIES!!!!! Ahem.
My family had just moved to Georgia (my father had just joined the military, and we were waiting for a house on base to finish being prepped for us) but in the meantime, we lived in a trailer park and I went to a school nearby. I was in kindergarten,…

My family moved to a new town and I had a first day of school in kindergarten. I got seated next to kid I would realize was forever covered in cheetodust. That’s not thisstory.

My disembodied vagina don’t want none unless you are into vaginas and in particular my disembodied vagina and also only if you’re down in that moment and can give clear and sober consent.

Triumph and humiliation, huh?

I have so many wonderful back-to-school stories. My dad convinced me to chop my beautiful long hair into A Princess Di cut. Fantastic Sam’s was not the place to go for that. I cried for 24 hours straight. School was starting in a few days, and my dad felt like he had to make it right, so he let me go to the mall for a…

First day of 5th grade, I was a quiet/nerdy only child, who had spent the summer going to another elementary to their day band camp, and did not play any sports or go to overnight camps. So I was not in the “cool” group and was a target for being picked on as a “know it all”, “teachers pet” etc. Well after a…

So, when I was in kindergarten, I wasn’t allowed to carry an umbrella on the bus.

Remembered another one!

It was 3rd of 4th grade—I was definitely old enough to know better. The teacher was so scary and I had to poop, I was too scared to ask to go to the bathroom. We were doing a playtime thing and I was with this other girl playing with legos or something. I thought I could poop and no one would notice so I shat my pants…

First day of class, 7th grade. I was on my way to Science class when I hazarded a trip to the bathroom (always dangerously filled with cigarette smoking thugs). I was wearing a peach colored, winsome kind of overall thingy, and I managed to flip one of the straps right into the toilet when putting it back on.

3/10 trolling, and I doubt Pigs Skins Have No Lips has a STEM degree his/herself.

While nobody who victimizes children (or anyone, for that matter) deserves pity, pedophilia is a psychiatric disorder. How is addressing the issue early on not “help” for the person with the disorder?