Careful, now you're going to have a bunch of health-conscious idiots committing hate crimes while trying to achieve superior food.

The problem with the "evolution" argument is that the honest truth is that we evolved to be exactly the way we are as a population.

I can relate to all of this, so much.

The fuckton is a standard weight measure, not metric.

A guy I worked with told me he was splitting wood in the back yard when his only child, then 4 years old, came up behind him, within axe back-swing range. He told the kid to stand farther back, took a couple more swings, then caught sight of movement in the corner of his eye. Kid was right back in the danger zone. He…

I feel like this is a modern, couture-level interpretation of every Feminine Romantic-Interest Alien Lady outfit from any Star Trek series. Approve.

Uhm .... I hate to be "that guy", but I'm pretty sure you are making reference to the very popular breakfast milk soups ........ such as milk & grain or milk & grain with marshmallows

DO NOT GOOGLE CANADIAN MILK o.O

HOLD ON a minute and explain Canadian milk.

things only got worse when it was revealed that the official Krispy Kreme Klub hats were modeled after pastry piping bags

In his case, he looks at all the gluten as he's eating it.

JUST STOP HAVING SEX YOU WHOREY WHORE

if you read all the way down, it says just the photo is fake b/c penguins are hard to pose.

Freedom to ass? Did I miss that day in Civics and Economics in highschool?

I'm a diplomatic fucker.

Ohhh, what was I thinking? My plain featured brain nearly tricked me on that one!

Due to the statute of limitations, Montag is only eligible to be charged with crimes that occurred after July 1st, 1996

Definitely wouldn't want to be stuck in an elevator with them if that happened.

hi I'm plain in feature and certainly overweight, but I sell monogrammed coffee thermoses!!!