Official statement by Ryan Lochte:

Benjeahzi.

But so many white collar criminals do just what you said. They have more money than 99% of the world but need something else, which they think will come with having even more money. It won’t though.

Oh SHIT, it’s Darren Sharper!

Can’t believe how much that Greg Jennings play broke him mentally.

I laughed way harder at that then I should.

LAWYER: You can never go back to Brazil.
Lochte: Man, but I really enjoyed Europe!

Fuckin racist

Remember how all we saw for like 3 months around here was how cool and fun and awesome yasiel puig was? That was stupid.

Whatever joy I feel is sucked out of me the moment I read a thinkpiece on here.

See, you seem like you don’t enjoy life. Be more like Usain Bolt!

Except they just aired it.

Well don’t you feel like an idiot now :D

THEY WERE SHOWING WHAT THEY SHOULD HAVE BEEN AIRING 6 HOURS BEFORE!!

Meanwhile, on the other side of the pool...

Terrell Owens does.

It’s nice to see Lacy picking up right where he left off last season by not gaining anything.

Murray has won 3 slams since Federer’s 2012 Wimbledon win, not 2 - 2012 US Open, 2013 Wimbledon, 2016 Wimbledon. (Also, it’s Murray, not Murry).

Usually I’m fine with making a tasteless joke on Deadspin no matter how tragic the story but this time I think I’ll pass.

TIL Samer doesn’t know the difference between a butt and a pussy