See if you can get a hand on one of these bad boys instead for a fair comparison. It’s an E-Z-GO 2Five, and I even found one in “electric blue” so you know I’m hip. They retail for $11.5k, are classified identically to your new EV, and are bought in shockingly high numbers in the South.

Alright, everyone who suspected “Engineered Product Development” to be the least-represented skill in HD’s leadership, raise your hands!

My first and only reaction to seeing a wheel called the “Pur Sport”:

David Tracy needs physical show cars to crawl under and take lots of pictures for an exhaustive technical breakdown before some OEM representative kicks him out.

It’s Toyota, so that cupholder alone likely went through three comprehensive design reviews and has a 30-page DFMEA (design failure mode engineering analysis) document associated with it.

Torch had what’s still the best take regarding digital gauge clusters, back in the halcyon days of 2016: https://jalopnik.com/its-time-to-let-analog-looking-gauges-die-1751169121

Neutral: While our broken healthcare and employee sick leave policies are a damn shame, they might lead to a greater share of affordable (new) cars on the market. Hear me out on this one.

I thought Grantland was the last time I’d be pouring one out for a delightful, irreverent internet site but...yeah, here we are :’(

Neutral: I browse Jalopnik. Which probably isn’t great advice for a Jalopnik writer trying to get away.

In your defense, I wouldn’t put it past Koenigsegg to throw an extra exhaust valve onto the two outside cylinders because...supercar engineering reasons. 

Actually, there are eight exhaust ports—one per exhaust valve—and they each get their own outlet pipe.

I guess an Atlas Cross Sport is so boring to drive you’ll be too lost in ennui to notice a Sasquatch crossing the street. Hope you didn’t run the lil’ fella over. 

Unless your garage doubles as a humidor, nothing will prevent dry rot of all the rubbers when you're in the desert or high plains. Dry air eats everything from bushings to tires.

While I appreciate all the detail about your Pao's repair, there's a huge detail missing from this article: you never mentioned the 2010 Prius. 

I realize this will sound like anathema, but hear me out: get an early 90s Japanese sedan and use it as your road trip car. Those trunks and rear seats will swallow up all your tools, the ride will be insanely better, nothing will break down, and you’ll spend half as much on gas during these road trips. 

Rear wheel drive + chonky Tesla weight + insane desert heat.

1st Gen Chevy Volt.

Imagine if FCA’s Daimler-Chrysler era lasted 15 years, and that’s Nissan.

I’m actually willing to believe that; I recently ended up with a Cruze as a rental and was delightfully un-infuriated by it, despite its rental-spec-only CVT.

Your argument is essentially is that this car’s design entirely lacks taste. Given what I know about the target demographic for a German luxury crossover coupe, that might be the point.