Braun: [Receives shot in the ass]

Ugh, he makes me want to apologize to Ryan Lochte.

yourself included?

Between Gwynn going for .400 and the Expos having the best season of their existence, that was a brutal strike to say the least.

Jesus, He's just the douche that keeps on douching.

I eagerly await Drew Magary's Fuck Pitbull response. That's how this works, right?

Here's a live video feed of me monitoring this comments section

a million Americans simultaneously googling "Claudia Leitté"

I could see that being a reasonable statement from about 30 years ago, but now? I've seen nothing in even recent years to even begin to claim that Miami has any sort of cultural impact. And yes, I'm even including Dexter as part of that impact.

Next week in Deadspin: In Defense of Bud Light.

"Tell me what instruments(s) he's mastered at the world level . . ." The meat-whistle.

"Recoiling at Pitbull is equivalent to recoiling at large swathes of Latino culture."

I feel like this topic deserves something from someone who IS a professional musician and knows the ins/outs of the modern industry so here goes. Without going into too many technical music terms I'll keep it square: these are not musicians. These are talentless, money grubbing attention-whores that whore themselves…

"TVT, the now-defunct label that first gave us Lil Jon and Teedra Moses."

And, y'know, Nine Inch Nails, Aphex Twin, Tackhead, Jurassic 5, XTC, Guided By Voices, and Gil Scott-Heron, among others.

"As an Americanized purveyor of cheesy techno..."

Wait, what are you defending again?

"At the very least, even if you hate his…

"Recoiling at Pitbull is equivalent to recoiling at large swathes of Latino culture."

I am a professional musician of 22 years. I am trained in both jazz and classical styles. Fuck you, Deadspin. Just fuck you. I'm out.

This is a poor defense of Pitbull, and he still sucks.

If you train him properly there is nothing to worry about.