This is Gawker, home of the Internet’s highest concentration of self-hating white people who are afraid of the six angry black women who also post here.

I can’t wait for that pivotal moment in time when Fox Sports has Skip Bayless, Clay Travis, Jason Whitlock, Colin Cowherd, and maybe Curt Schilling all under one roof.

It’s not often that I find a Bill Maher clip to be worth watching in any scenario. This is as close as we can get to it:

God bless him. And if he thinks it’s fun to watch on TV, wait until he goes to a game in person. His head will explode.

Follow a team through a deep playoff run, and there’s no way you’re not a hockey fan afterwards

yeah well try going somewhere while you eat your precious chobani, meanwhile i’ll *kickflips off the eiffel tower while downin’ a big ol slug of go-gurt* CATCH YA LATER GRANDPA! NOT!

In Russia ball deflates you!

Make America 8-8 again

McCoy’s gotta be like “damn, just left that racist-ass Kelly for this?”

Even “honkies” has almost no effect. You really want to make white Americans experience what it feels like to be the victim of a stereotype based purely on the color of their skin, make a shirt with a white cartoon face that says “Racists”.

I kinda want one of those. It would go great with my Nirvana t-shirt

If an outrage like this doesn’t unite the Yozzos and the Scaperottas, nothing will.

“Who the fuck is this Mike Tomlin fella?”

Amateur.

John, Paul, George, and Rondo.

I'm from the south so I know how devastating it is getting the clap from cousins.

Yes, and the world will be shocked to know what I think about the motif of transubstantiation in captivity narratives. I can only hope that controversial thoughts about the shields in Homer will take over the news cycle.

I’m drinking my best not to think about it

“Martha, leave my 10 foot pole where it is. I ain’t touchin’ this one!”

We deserve the internet.