I feel like Obama wanted, like, seven kids but Michelle (rightly) put her foot down.

I hope his post-presidency is just going around schools and playing with kids. He seems to get genuine joy from being with young'uns. He's gonna be the BEST grandpa.

I’m not outraged, because I really don’t understand what the joke is supposed to be.

Trump didn’t spend a single day in Colorado leading up to that state’s primary. Not a single day. Which means he knew he wouldn't win and he wasn't going to waste his time or money. And then he whines that the system is stacked against him? What a putz.

But that’s *not* what happened here. This was all about Trump’s campaign being lazy, sloppy, disorganized, and generally quite poorly run. The result of that was that he got shut out in Colorado. This had nothing to do with the deck being stacked against Trump by the establishment, but rather the result of his own…

Let’s require drug tests in order to take advantage of certain tax deductions!

I worry about all of the athletes competing - in actual raw sewage - during a serious viral outbreak. We shouldn’t be sending anyone. I second MTV Beach House, with Olympic-themed events.

It’s still the case that she sold the shirt to capitalise on her latest reality TV moment, so it’s still stomach-churning that her moment involved someone else death and a co-star’s grief.

“A feminist,” Carly intones, in a snippet from an old speech, “is a woman who lives the live she chooses.”

Okay I’m just going to vent here:

I have never, ever, ever been happier to have been born in 1977 than I am after reading this.

Strangulation is a big fucking deal, you guys.

Just got back from the after-party for our first home bout of the roller derby season... WHICH WE WON.

Send me good vibes, please. I have a job interview on Wednesday. I’ve been freelancing for 12 years, and I am just so sick of demanding clients who always want a discount. This is my first in-person interview since 2008!

Steer clear. A man who wants to be divorced will be, a man who is still married has the kind of baggage that you don't wanna carry.

I am a mom and would NEVER put a pic of my kids on my profile and it disturbs the hell out of me when I see someone do that.

Fuck dating. Fuck dating sites. Fuck guys who just message “hey. how r u?” or “u r beautiful.” Use fucking proper grammar. Fuck guys who ghost you. Fuck everything.

Oooh, good luck! We’ll all be rooting for you. :)

If you’re a six in Europe then times that by 2, plus 32....so in America you’re a 44!

“If you’re going to get raped, wouldn’t you think you would’ve yelled out a scream or something? Take a look at her facial expression. It doesn’t even change.”